Monday, September 22, 2014

Product Review: Go Girl

Last week's article ended up in me getting a pink flashlight and zippo lighter. For those of you who missed it, a discussion on our Facebook page about what my OHED kit was missing turned into a rather good-nature tormenting of yours truly, spearheaded by my co-blogger and adopted sister, Erin.

Erin says: Guilty as charged.  I called it "Operation Pinkbomb" because the funniest way to shore up the holes in Evie's OHED was by getting her the girliest, pinkest items possible -- mainly because her cries of torment are so cute. She detests pink, y'see, but isn't in a position to turn down free gear.

Erin included something that I found myself incredibly intriguing and rather eagerly agreed to test it out and review it.

Erin says: Eagerly?  I believe you called me a bitch. :P

This is the first time I've reviewed something that I've been disappointed in.  So here we go.

A review of the Go Girl female urination device.

It's this little device that has the tag line "Don't take life sitting down."

My tag line addition: Don't bother buying.

I want to emphasize that the only thing that changes between using this device and just squatting/sitting is just that: you are standing.  THAT'S IT!

I quote from the instructions:
"While standing, hold the Go Girl against your body to form a seal.  Press with your thumb and middle finger stretching from front to back."
Let's get something straight here:  you can't do that through your zipper.
  1. You do the same amount of work in pulling your pants down or your skirt up. 
  2. Women's underwear doesn't have a fly, so that has to come down too. 
  3. You still have to wipe yourself clean (women can't shake themselves dry like men can), and you can't do that through a zipper. 
  4. If you are menstruating and don't use tampons, it's...grossly messy and you will just end getting fluids all over the insides of your legs and on your clothing.  
  5. You are NOT saving yourself any work.
  6. You are NOT giving yourself any more privacy.
Honestly, this thing feels like a high school girl's response to being teased by boys about having to sit down to pee.  

"Surely there are some good things about this, Evie?"

Well, I really had to sit and throw this idea around with DR (Yeah, he's a brave man).  There are two situations I can think of where using this thing might be a good idea:
  1. You have to urinate into a bottle because you're in a tent, on a road trip and the driver won't stop, etc.
  2. The toilet seat is highly questionable.
These are the only two things I can think of where the Go Girl would give you even a small advantage. That's an incredibly small niche.  It's a novel idea, but... well... it's not practical in my world.  

FCC Disclaimer:  This product was bought for Evelyn as a gift, and she didn't give it a positive review. Please go away and look for some real crimes. 

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