 |
Not actually Erin. & is used with permission. |
Can this year please be over? I cannot recall another time in at least the past 20 years when I have been so thoroughly beaten down by life. I don't know if this is burnout, depression, something else, or all of the above, but regardless of what's causing it there are days when I struggle just to be a person instead of some feral swamp witch. This means that writing blog posts like this one often feel unsurmountable.
No one wants to hear me whine, though, so here's a post that's a follow-up to a lot of previous posts, because this is the only stuff I can think of right now:
My house is still in shambles and the master suite is still unlivable (more details here). Very little has happened since May; we hired an insurance adjuster to go to bat for us and he's had to work like crazy to get USAA to give us any money at all. We've gotten some, but it's not enough to cover the cost of renovation. It looks like we might need to get a lawyer to sue them.
Between all this drama and the hot humidity of Florida summer, it's been months since I was able to do my regular night walks. Because of this, and because I'm a stress eater, I've gained weight. Yuck.
I tore down my BOB and GHB to build an instructional pack for LibertyCon, and I've been tinkering with it in order to lighten it and implement the knowledge I've acquired and the lessons I've learned since then. Neither are 100% as I want them, but they're getting close. I think that if I didn't have all this other stuff going on in my life, I would be finished by now. But there's nothing I can do about that, so I do as best I can.
I really like my portable water pump from Pacific Bay, because it fills my water bladders quickly and efficiently. I've been told by an engineer that I ought to put my filter between the pump and bladder (which is what I wanted to do to begin with) because in his experience, pumps are more powerful at output than input. I like this explanation because not only does it make sense, it also tells me that my gut feeling was correct.
That's all I have for now. Hopefully things will get better (wouldn't that be nice) so that writing feels less like pushing a boulder uphill.
Stay safe and practice self care, everyone.
You're doing what you need to do and no one else should comment, other than send hugs.
ReplyDeleteNo one else has given me problems. This is just me being hard on myself because, once upon a time, I was able to write five blog posts a week and I wish I could recapture that creativity.
Delete