Sunday, December 24, 2017

GunBlog VarietyCast Radio #175 - 'Twas the 'Cast Before Christmas

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good podcast!
  • It will be Christmas Eve when this podcast drops, so in order to get everyone into the proper spirit, Beth performs a reading of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas... but with a twist!
  • A minister foils an Orange County church break-in by shooting out the tire on the fleeing suspect's car. Sean takes a look.
  • You thought they just wanted to steal your data, but  now there's malware that turns your computer into a Bitcoin miner for someone else. Barron tells you how to avoid having someone steal your computer's processing power.
  • When you find yourself in a hole, you should stop digging. Miguel is here to talk about how to get your mind off your problems and find inner peace.
  • Those who want tighter controls on firearms ownership are always telling us that gun owners agree with them, so when Dave Workman and Alan Gottlieb wrote a widely-published article seeking that common ground, you’d expect that it would start an instant dialog with “Gun Safety Advocates.” Our special guest today is Dave Workman, here to tell us about the whole lot of nothing they heard from the the other side.
  • In Episode 171, Tiffany chatted with firearms trainer Aqil Qadir about using affinity groups to help connect separate firearms cultures. This week, she talks to Aqil about his law enforcement background and how we might begin to mend the frayed relationship between many black communities and police.
  • Not to be outdone by 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Erin tells us the story of the Nativity from a prepper point of view.
  • This week Weer’d takes on part two of the Jordan Klepper interview on Kickass Politics where he plugs his Comedy Central special “Jordan Klepper Solves Guns”.
  • And our Plug of the Week is the Survival Blanket 2.0.
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Listen to the podcast here.
Read the show notes here.

Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Blue Collar Prepping Transcript: 

The Prepper Nativity

Since Beth has entertained us with a Gunnie version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, I thought I would tell the story of the Nativity from a prepper perspective.

"In those days, Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world, and everyone went to their place of birth to register."

So Joseph, who was not yet a prepper, packed up his belongings and placed his pregnant wife Mary upon their donkey, and traveled from his home in Nazareth in the province of Galilee to the town of Bethlehem in Judea. It is unclear whether Mary was a native of Nazareth and registered there before traveling to Bethlehem with her husband, or if wives had to register with their husbands, but the fact remains that The Government required Joseph to register in person rather than by mail, because bureaucracy. And this was the first example of “Registration Leads to Confiscation”, as we shall later see.

We don’t know much about Joseph, but we know that he wasn’t very good at planning and was probably on estranged from his family, because in the time it took him to reach Bethlehem -- some sources say it would take 4 days, some 8, some 10, so let’s just assume the average and say it took them a week to get there -- not only were there no places for a man and his heavily pregnant wife to stay, but he also didn’t have any family whom he could ask for hospitality. Instead, he had to beg for shelter and was allowed to sleep in the stable of an inn only because the innkeeper took pity on his pregnant wife. From this we learn the dual values of “Bug out as soon as possible to avoid the rush” and “Cultivate a prepper tribe so that you will have a place to stay after you bug out.”

And lo, Joseph didst register, a process so boring that it’s not even mentioned in the scripture. I expect it was like the DMV, only without electricity.

And Mary did give birth to her son Jesus, the Immanuel, and God did blow their OPSEC by making a big presentation with choirs of angels singing to shepherds who then went into the town to look for a baby. And believe you me, a bunch of shepherds and their flocks milling about a stable in a crowded city is going to attract attention, and that’s even before the little drummer boy started making noise, pa-rum pa-pum-pum. Fortunately, nothing bad came of this, probably because, well, GOD, but it just goes to show that even a well-meaning relative can let slip the details of your bug-out location to strangers… but more on that, later.

And because Mary and Joseph were devout Jews, they took Jesus to Jerusalem to present him at the temple to be circumcised. As a point of interest, Bethlehem is only six miles from Jerusalem, so they probably used their Get Home Bags rather than their Bug Out Bags to make the trip. And then they returned to Bethlehem for reasons which are unclear, but probably involved more paperwork for registration because Joseph needed to add a dependent to his W-4.

And then the Magi, three wise men from the east, showed up at their home bearing gifts of money, aromatic resin used in incense and perfumes, and a bitter medicinal resin used as an antiseptic and analgesic, which Joseph added to their Bug Out Bags. These funds and medicine were good to have, because when God blew Mary & Joseph’s OPSEC, the magi saw the star and followed it, passing through Jerusalem and telling everyone in King Herod’s court that they were going to see a newborn king who was going to overthrow Herod.

Like all governments, King Herod didn’t want to give up any power, so he declared that all boys under the age of two were to be killed. And lo, registration led to confiscation and destruction.

Fortunately for the holy family, God realized that He had blown their OPSEC and gave them a warning that their current Bug-Out Location wasn’t secure. By this point, Joseph has become a good prepper, because at the first sign of danger he assembled their Bug Out Bags, put Mary and Jesus on the donkey, and got the heck out of dodge.The gold and the incense (a luxury item) were likely used to buy supplies and facilitate passage to Egypt, and the myrrh was used in their medical kits when the became sick or sore.

And thus, the holy family didst bug out to Egypt, outside of Herod’s jurisdiction, a distance of at least 40 miles to the border. And they stayed there until Herod died and it was safe to return. From this we learn the value of outliving our enemies and keeping track of foreign affairs.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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