Rationing

During times of war, when normal supply lines are disrupted, it's common to see food and fuel being rationed. A simple definition of rationing is "When someone else decides how much of a commodity you can own or buy." Today we see rationing in places experiencing economic downfall or failure of a government, with consumable goods like food, fuel, and clothing being limited to what you can produce yourself or a small amount through normal channels. Massive inflation (usually caused by failure of a government or monetary system), trade embargoes (politics), war (government), and major natural disasters can all lead to rationing. How would you react to a rationing system?

During both world wars, so much production was shifted to the support of the military that consumer goods were rare or non-existent. Some examples:

• You're going to have trouble finding a picture of a 1944 Ford or Dodge car, because those factories were making tanks and aircraft by then. 
• Pennies were made out of steel for a few years because copper was so essential to the war effort.
• Anything that had to be imported was likely to be scarce or unavailable, so tropical fruits and chocolate became very expensive. 
• Coffee and tea likewise became scarce and substitutes like Chickory root were used instead. 
• Transportation systems were also placed under government control, so shipments of goods within the county were severely disrupted. 

Looking back at the Soviet Union and some of the stories I've heard of their mismanaged supply chains, where they couldn't even get bread without standing in line, I dread the idea of a government-run economy. The analogy I got from a former resident of the Soviet Union was that everything was rationed, and the currency itself was their form of ration card. Ordinary people never had enough currency to get everything they needed, and that was by design.

Today we see electricity being rationed. They don't use that word; they prefer to call it a “rolling brown-out” or insist that you have a “smart meter” that is controlled from a central office. They'll often offer you a discount on your electrical bill if you let them control your heat and air conditioning during the day (while you're at work).

I don't have any contacts in Puerto Rico, but I've heard/read that they are still living with limited clean water, sewer service, and electricity in many areas almost a year after Hurricane Maria tore the island up. Food supplies are improving, but not back to what they were.

Several things happen when rationing is instituted:

• People become very resourceful. If all of the rubber tires were being sent to the front lines of a war, farmers went back to steel wheels on their tractors. Ingenuity is a virtue. 
• Recycling gets a real workout, with nothing being thrown away until it has to be replaced. People start to realize the value of what they have been throwing in the trash. 
• Repair shops suddenly become feasible again. If you can't get a replacement, see if you can get your old (whatever) fixed. Skills can be as useful as goods in this area. 
• “Alternative markets”, also known as gray or black markets, spring up everywhere. If the people in power say something, you can bet that there is someone who will try to find a way around it. Unofficial trade is often outlawed, but it will never be fully stopped. 
• People start to provide for themselves. Victory gardens were strongly suggested and supported during the world wars as a way to use non-productive ground like yards and parks to grow food for the local citizens, easing the burden of the transportation system. Locally grown food is also healthier and tastier than something that has been shipped in from hundreds or thousands of miles away. 
• Bulk smuggling becomes very profitable. Today's smugglers carry relatively small, value-dense things like drugs, gems, or guns, but food becomes much more important once it becomes scarce. Things like sugar, coffee, spices and citrus fruits that aren't grown in the USA will rival cocaine and marijuana in profit margin. 
• People begin to move out of unsustainable areas. Unless you have a job with guaranteed delivery of life's essentials, why would you want to live in a city that can't support itself? Urban areas become less attractive and rural areas see a lot more immigrants. This is not always a good thing, since many of those fleeing an urban environment are ill-suited to rural life. 

There's a good chance that when the SHTF, it will be a slow process. Without an asteroid strike or EMP attack, our systems are most likely to die a slow, wheezing death due to the inertia they have built up over decades. Rationing is likely to be one of the steps forced on us either as we rebuild, or as the system shuts down for good to be replaced by something different.

The House Out Back

If TSHTF in a major way and destroys the infrastructure that we depend on for water and sewage services, you're going to need to find a way to deal with the inevitable result of people eating: they urinate and defecate. I'll try to keep this family-friendly, but face it, everybody pees and poops and it has to go somewhere. If you have a Bug Out Location (BOL) that is remote or plan on spending lots of time at a location that lacks a sewer line or septic tank, you'll need a plan for dealing with those necessary bodily functions. I'll cover a few different options in the next couple of articles, but today I want to talk about outhouses.

While I may be old and have spent most of my life in rural areas, I did grow up with indoor plumbing. The rare occasions where a normal toilet wasn't available were during camping trips to some rather remote locations, a couple of field deployments in the Army, and a two-week period when we moved to a new house that wasn't finished before we moved in (the school year was starting and my parents wanted us to get into the new schools at the start). As an adult, I spent six years working 12 hour shifts at a location without a flush toilet; we used a porta-potty (the blue plastic boxes that are common at construction sites) until management spent the money to run a sewer line down to our office. In other words, I have some experience with outhouses of various types.

Planning and preparation are why we read and write blogs like this one, so let's take a look at some of the steps you'll need to cover.

Legal

If you're going to build an outhouse before a crisis, you'll need to check your local laws. Zoning ordinances will prevent you from using a functional outhouse inside most city limits, but a “decorative” outhouse can be quickly converted into a real one simply by dragging it over a hole dug in the ground. Use it as a “garden shed” to store your shovels and rakes until you need to activate it.

Environmental

Do you know where the water table sits in your location? If you dig a hole and water seeps in, you're not going to want to place a standard outhouse there. Contaminating the groundwater is one of the things you're trying to prevent, so look for a better spot or use a sealed system (more on that when I get to types).

Know your soil types and plan accordingly. Well-drained soil will help keep an open-bottom hole from filling up as quickly; sand won't retain enough moisture for decomposition to occur; and clay won't let any liquid leech out. If you don't understand soil types, get a professional opinion from a local septic tank installer.

Location

You want to keep the outhouse close enough that you can get to it quickly, but not so close that you have to smell it inside the house. Since it's likely that you'll be eating unfamiliar food, plan on placing your outhouse within sprinting distance. 50 to 100 feet from the back door was normal a century ago, so that's a good rule of thumb. Take the other members of your family or tribe into consideration as well; children and elders are more prone to urgent need of a toilet.

I've mentioned water tables already, but you also want to locate your outhouse downhill from any water source that you may use. Keep it at least 200 feet from any well or spring. This will prevent contaminants from percolating through the soil and ending up in your drinking water.

Design

I'm not going to go into exterior design details. You can get as basic or creative as your time and budget allow as long as the basic functions aren't neglected.

Size

The common outhouse was about 4' x 4', with the “bench” taking up the back half of the floor space. Look around the internet and you'll find designs for just about any shape and size you can imagine, but the simple 4' x 4' size is easy to build with common lumber. Plywood comes in 4' x 8' sheets, so you can build the walls, floor, and roof with 3 sheets and a couple of armloads of 2 x 4s.

Ventilation

The area under the seat and above the hole in the ground needs to be ventilated. Gasses produced by the decomposition of bodily wastes are unhealthy to breathe and basically unpleasant to every culture on Earth. Running a piece of 4” or bigger PVC pipe from a hole cut in the bench up through the roof is common, but I've also seen designs that use thin (less than 1” thick) wood to create a channel up one or both of the back corners. Cover the top of the vent pipe with netting or window screen to keep insects out.

Cover/Roof

Unless you're setting up on a tropical island, having a roof to keep weather off of you is not an option. The type of roof is going to vary according to your available materials and style, with traditional outhouses having a simple single-pitch (one piece, without a peak in the center) roof that angles down to the rear of the structure.

Door

Privacy is nice, but the main reason for a door on an outhouse is to keep animals and insects out. A nice, dry shelter with a supply of nesting material (paper) is quite attractive to a lot of furry critters that you don't want to share your bathroom with. Equally disturbing is trying to use a bathroom that has become the location for a wasp nest.

I recommend putting a latch on the inside of the door if you have more than one person using the outhouse to ensure privacy. If you're handy enough and have the materials, a “dutch” door or “half door” that is split horizontally will allow you to close the bottom half for privacy and open the top half for ventilation while in use.

Interior

How you set up the interior is going to be purely personal preference. Other than a metal or plastic container to store your toilet paper (it keeps moisture, bugs, and mice out), you can go as basic or elegant as you want. 

A shelf for reading material is a good choice, as is somewhere to place a lamp or lantern if that's what you're going to use to find the outhouse in the dark.

When outhouses were common, people kept a container of wood ashes (from the fireplace) or slaked lime (ask at any hardware store or lumber yard) in them. A scoop of ash or lime was added to the pit after each use to keep odors down.

Keep the floor clear to prevent tripping and slipping, use the wall space for decorations and amenities.

Seat

You're going to need a place to park your butt while you take care of business, so make it comfortable. Standard toilets are about 15” from the floor to the top of the seat, but those of us with long legs prefer something closer to 20”. A regular toilet seat is a nice addition, but anything that will close the hole will work.

For winter use, cut a toilet seat shape out of styrofoam insulation and hang it in the house by the door so you can grab it on the way out. The extra insulation will make a huge difference, trust me. I've had to expose too much bare flesh to too much cold plastic over the years and hovering over a hole is more than my old legs can stand now.

Paper

Modern toilet paper is nice, but any paper will work to help clean your bottom and keep the wastes off of your hands (you'll still need to wash them, though). The old Sears and Roebucks catalog hanging from a nail provided reading material as well as a supply of paper for many years in many places. Newspaper will work after you've crumpled it up a few times to make it softer, and almost all newspapers use soy-based ink now so it's safer to use on delicate areas. Home-made paper from recycled magazines and newspapers would probably be softer and more pleasant to use than the “slick” paper found in advertising inserts, but more research is needed in that area.

Types of Outhouses 
(and how they work)

Open Pit or “Long Drop” Outhouse
This is your basic shack over a hole in the ground.

I've seen several examples that use a 55 gallon drum with both ends removed as a “liner” to keep the soil from collapsing into the hole. The height of a drum also ensures that the bottom of the hole is below the frost line in all but the most extreme environments. Metal drums will last for a several years and will eventually rust away, and plastic drums will stay in the ground for decades or centuries. Since the hole will eventually fill up and the house will be moved, I prefer metal drums. Plastic also tends to “float” out of the ground over the years if you live in an area where it freezes. The annual frost heave lifts the light plastic a few inches each spring, meaning you may end up seeing it pop up in the future.

Open pits work by holding the waste and letting naturally occurring bacteria decompose it. Having the bottom of the hole below the frost line ensures that you'll always have a live colony of bacteria available to work on the waste. This decomposition reduces the mass of the waste and destroys most pathogenic (harmful) organisms in the waste. The active bacteria tend to be anaerobic (they work in the absence of air) or facultative (they work with or without air), so you won't get good decomposition until you have enough waste to create an anaerobic pile. Anaerobes tend to create acids, so the old-time habit of throwing a handful of lime or wood ashes into the hole after each use will neutralize some of that acid and keep the odors down. I could bore you to tears with explanations of acid-formers and methanogens and the pH balance needed for each, but I won't.

Sealed or Watertight Systems
Where the soil conditions or local laws won't allow an open-bottom pit, you're going to have to use a hole with a liner that will trap all of the droppings. The biggest problem with this type is that they have to be pumped out or otherwise emptied when they start to fill up (the contents are then transported to a treatment plant for disposal) or they may be sealed (until services are restored) and the outhouse relocated to a new lined hole.

Vault toilets are a type of sealed system that you'll find in a lot of parks and campgrounds. The wastes are accumulated in a large underground tank that is pumped out by a contractor as needed, eliminating the need for an expensive septic system that will only get used for part of the year.

Bucket Toilet
While not common in the USA, “night soil” workers have been used in many countries through the ages to deal with a type of sealed system. Well into the mid-20th Century, outhouses built with a removable bucket were tended to in Australian towns, where they were known as “dunny cans”. The outhouses were built next to the fence on the alley behind the house and the buckets were removed and replaced through a hatch on the alley side.


Proper waste disposal is important at any time, but it becomes a priority when the normal infrastructure is unavailable or not working. Check the news for stories about E. coli outbreaks and the spread of “old” diseases like cholera and dysentery, they're happening more often than they used to due to improper sanitary practices and lack of education. With everything else you'll be dealing with after a crisis, you don't want to add disabling diseases that are preventable.

Division

Scrolling through my facebook feed the other day, I saw a post/picture that stated something along the lines of “Not once in the last eight years (meaning the time before our current President) did I have to wake up fearing that WW3 was going to start today”. My initial response was, “You're welcome. Those of us who served during the Cold War managed to remove that threat for a little while”. Before I hit the enter button, I stopped and thought about the young person who had shared this bit of tripe. I erased my comment and let her post go unanswered because she wouldn't have allowed anything contrary on her page. This is a problem on several levels that needs to be explored.

Political Divide

The gulf between the dominant parties in American politics is getting wider. Civility is rare whenever politics get brought up (one of the reasons we don't cover politics on this blog) and I'm starting to see an increase in the dehumanization of those who disagree with either side. This is not a good way to run a country, having people inciting hatred for anyone who doesn't agree with a certain political opinion. When we have black-clad idiots facing off with skinheads (and the police standing by doing nothing), we have a recipe for a riot. I'm old enough to recall the last major riots we had in this country and it was not a pretty situation.

Politicians get changed, we have this cycle of elections that makes sure of that, but nobody is being taught how to get through the periods where their guys aren't in power. Instant gratification and lack of long-term thinking are pushing people away from each other in alarming ways.

This is one of the reason I'm a prepper- so I can identify and avoid situations that have a strong potential of boiling over into a riot. I'm too old to get involved in fist fights in the streets, I never really enjoyed the few from my younger days.

History is a Lost Cause

For some reason, the two generations that were raised since the end of the Cold War were not taught basic world history. I saw this begin in the 1970s, but it is much worse now. The pause in global conflict from 1989 until now is just that, a pause. War has been the default setting for mankind since the beginning of recorded history. Just because the USA managed to outspend the USSR on war preparations, or at least cause them to bankrupt themselves trying to keep up with us, doesn't mean that war will never happen again. The blame lies with the schools and the idiots in charge of them that replaced history with “social studies” or whatever they're calling it this week. The history of our own country and those most likely to be in conflict with us should be more important than learning about the dress code of an island tribe in the Pacific Ocean.

Another reason I choose to prepare for disasters, some of them are man-made. This issue is why I have old books set aside. Any history book written in the last decade or so (which is as old as most schools are allowed to keep) is to be read through carefully, looking for what they left out.

Evil Exists; Deal With It.

Since the 1960s, there has been a push to rewrite human history in shades of gray. There is no black and white any more, no good or evil. Everyone and everything is more or less the same shade of gray when you look at everything about them, according to those who want to excuse evil acts. The impetus for excusing evil is to be able to conduct even more evil in the future. The belief that all peoples and cultures are equal disregards the teachings of history, and common sense should be enough to show that such beliefs are false.

Religion is a part of this problem. I make no distinctions between sects or even entire beliefs, I'm seeing every religion being watered down and made “palatable”. Very few churches are willing to teach that evil exists, they're much too busy extorting money so they can build another wing on the building or hire another “preacher”. The “heathen” or pagan religions are not exempt from this, I've met several “pagans” that know nothing about what they claim to follow, but they love the tattoos and art work.

This is why I'm a spiritual prepper. My way of life is fading, being replaced by a foggy, washed-out searching for a utopia that can not and does not exist. Evil seems to be getting a foothold and I am doing what I can to fight back.

The Debate is Over

With the invention of facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. we have given up on actually communicating with each other. Anyone who voices a contrary opinion is now a sub-human monster whose words don't deserve to be shared. Most of the social media outlets are working on ways to censor “fake news” or at least anything that gets reported as fake news. That sounds like a great way to have a one-sided debate to me.

I have a lot of young friends, close to half of my Facebook friends list was under 30 years old when I added them. I've lost count of the number of times my comments have been deleted and how often I've been unfriended by nominal adults (they can vote and most can buy alcohol legally) just because I disagreed with something they posted. Most of the time it's something they copied from a political site, since very few of them know enough about history or politics to be able to form their own opinions. Someone they like said it, so it must be true and anything to the contrary is heresy. Movie stars and musicians that want to moonlight in politics have found it very easy to get time in front of cameras and microphones when they want to spout their version of “the truth”.

I do have two or three friends whose political views are drastically different than mine and they are intelligent enough to be able to debate those differences. We rarely change the others' minds, but we can talk in a civil manner and discuss the differences. This is becoming harder to do with every election cycle.

This is why I prepare for different kinds of disasters. A tornado will usually rip up a section of land a mile or so wide for a dozen miles or so. Car crashes don't normally involve more than two or three vehicles. Blizzards hit fast and last a week, with the roads and power being affected for days at most. In the aftermath of any of these, nobody is really going to care who I voted for in the last election if I can offer them aid. I'm not likely to turn down a warm place to sleep just because my friend voted for the “wrong” politician.

Unless I win the lottery and can buy that private island, I guess I'm going to have to find a way to deal with these issues. I'll keep trying to educate the ones who are willing to learn and I'll miss the ones who choose to remove me from their lives over something as petty as who gets to sit in the Oval Office.

Paris 11/13/2015

This is being written as events are still unfolding, so there may be some bad information due to the “fog of war.”

Having been caught on the edge of a street riot in a major European city many years ago, I've seen what happens when a crowd loses control and is desperate. It is not a pretty sight when they're all around you -- we were lucky enough to duck into a store just before the owner locked the doors and we waited for the police to clear the streets. Paris is likely ten times as bad tonight.

Terrorists have carried out multiple attacks in Paris, France. At least 200 wounded and 100 dead from gunfire, fragmentation grenades, and suicide vests. Martial law is in effect, chaos and lack of information are the rule, the borders of France have been sealed, airports are shut down, public transportation is not running, people are being told to get inside and stay inside. There are reports of the attackers shouting “Allahu Akbar” and other reports of fire-bombs being thrown into “refugee” camps outside Paris that are full of Muslims.

The shit has truly hit the fan.

The more I hear about this attack, the more it resembles the 2008 terrorist attacks in Mumbai (Bombay), India:

• A small number of (radical Muslim) attackers who don't plan on getting out alive,
• targeting large gatherings of people, mostly in the wealthy areas of town,
• using grenades and fully-automatic rifles,
• creating chaos through multiple, closely-timed attacks.
• Civilians, for the most part, have no clue about what to do,
• even though there is a history of terrorist attacks in the city.

With a few differences:

• Police in France responded much quicker than the police in Mumbai.
• The French police were much better trained and equipped.
• Since France is considered a “developed” nation and India isn't, the news coverage is more intense.

How do you prepare for something like this?

1) Pay heed to Uncle Remus' advice to “stay away from crowds.”
Uncle Remus wrote a weekly blog for 10 years before retiring last year, but some of us recall his constant advice to “stay away from crowds”. Crowds make large targets for idiots who don't care to aim their firearms. Crowds limit your mobility. Crowds have a type of group mentality that resembles a herd of herbivores in its reaction to anything.

2) Weigh the risks and rewards of any trip out of your normal Area of Operations (AO).
Is it really worth traveling to a strange city where you don't know anyone, can't speak the language, and don't know the streets just to watch a sports event? Especially when there is a history of violence in the city and things are getting worse rather than getting better?

3) Always have a way out.
On of the eyewitnesses to the attack on the concert hall mentioned trying to get on the stage after hearing gunfire, knowing that there was an emergency exit backstage. Always look for the exit signs in any building you enter.

When driving, always leave room to maneuver your car around the one in front of you. The shoulder or the ditch may be better than sitting still in a traffic jam.

The French government has sealed the border and shut down public transportation. How are you going to get home, or at least to your hotel room? Have a plan, or at least a map to a place of safety.

Know where the embassy is in any foreign country you visit.

Some suggest carrying a gold coin or two to be able to pay for an emergency trip home. Gold takes up very little space for its value and is generally accepted anywhere in the world

4) Be prepared to fight back if at all possible.
If you live in a place that allows citizens to carry firearms, carry the blasted things. I, personally, will not shop in stores with the “No guns allowed” signs on the doors. I refuse to be left to the tender mercies of even the common lunatics running around on the streets, let alone someone intent on racking up a high body count. If you can't carry a gun find some other way to defend yourself -- martial arts, stun guns, mace, improvised weapons, or a bodyguard are all options.

Be mentally prepared to fight back. I have met several people who have been so thoroughly conditioned in “modern” living that they are unable to fight, even to defend their lives. Pacifists will become victims when TSHTF, unless protected by those who aren't.

5) Remember the “Rules of Stupid.”
Don't go to stupid places, with stupid people, at stupid times, and do stupid things. Know how to figure out what stupid is.

6) Have first aid training.
After the shooting is over, there will be people who need medical aid. Pray that you aren't one of them and be ready to render aid to those who need it. Most of us don't travel alone, and being able to help family/friends comes right after being able to defend them.

http://news.yahoo.com/nous-sommes-tous-fran%C3%A7ais--u-s--stands-in-solidarity-with-france-160956067.html

My prayers and condolences go out to those hurt or killed in the attack on Paris today. It sounds like the attackers are all dead, mostly by suicide, but the investigations will take a long time to root out all of the supporters and collaborators. I pray that no American city ever witnesses such an attack, but I know that it is possible.

Putting the Fun back in Functional

When you get down to brass tacks, reconstruction after a SHTF scenario is all about functionality. You have to stop and consider what's beyond mere survival, though, if you really want to hang on for the long term.

Survival is good and necessary. Having the skills and functionality to keep yourself housed, clothed, fed, protected, and in relatively good health are essential to living long enough to start putting things back together.

What keeps us from devolving into simply another mammalian animal, though, is our resilience and our ability to find (or make) fun during the worst of times.

Even in the midst of crises, it is important for humans to play and laugh for morale and for mental health maintenance. It is important for us to relax, or else the stress of simply surviving will undo all our hard work and make life unlivable. Too much stress can also have nasty adverse physical effects, which are certainly going to be counter-productive in a survival situation.

While I no longer have children young enough to worry about, many do. Those with small children as part of their bug out/bug in/cope and survive group often wonder how to keep their children entertained, useful, and out of trouble (not necessarily in that order!) during a SHTF scenario. The same question arises for unexpected visitors as a SHTF starts -- who may or may not have particularly useful skill sets -- and those members of your Tribe/Clan/Group who perhaps are mentally and emotionally willing, but not as physically able as others to take on difficult tasks necessary for group survival.

Turn small but necessary tasks that do not require significant skills into games for the kids. Sending them to gather kindling and firewood (while still in sight of someone who can protect them, obviously) and turning it into a bit of competition can keep them occupied and entertained, while freeing up someone else to do more skill intensive tasks.Other good tasks for children involve animals, such as feeding chickens, walking dogs, watering cattle.

Encouraging songs, story telling, poetry; all these are good for "down time" to keep minds occupied and off the groups' worries, while providing an excuse for physical lulls. Leading these exercises are good jobs for adults who are low-mobility due to age or illness, especially if they have experience being parents, babysitters, or elementary school teachers.

Remember, life is more than simply surviving from one day to the next: it's thriving and growing and playing and laughing, too! A life that is worth living is a life that is more likely to survive a disaster.

Foot Care and Why It's Important

In times of crisis, you are very likely to be relying on your own two feet for transportation. Roads and streets can be torn up by tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, or man-made disasters, or blocked with debris and dead, unmoving vehicles from same. Cars can run out of gas in all kinds of weather and conditions. There are countless ways that you could be forced to travel by foot, and so it makes sense to look at your most basic form of transportation.

Our feet are a complicated mix of bones, tendons, muscles, ligaments, and various other tissues. They are also the part of our body furthest from our heads and are often covered by shoes, so they tend to get less attention than other extremities. Taking care of your feet and footwear breaks down into several important parts.

Socks
Proper selection of socks is based on the type of boots and the type of activity you plan on engaging in.

• Hiking and long distance walking require a set of socks that will provide cushioning and prevent friction from causing blisters. A normal hiking set is silk or nylon socks (for preventing friction) inside wool socks (for cushioning and insulation). 
• Cold weather will require insulated or heated socks to keep your feet warm. Carry extra socks and change them as often as you need to in order to keep your feet dry. 
• Cotton is not the best choice for socks, but can work if you change them out often and keep them clean.

Selecting Footwear
Weather and terrain should influence your selection of footwear.

• The sandals you might be able to get away with on the beach will not work anywhere else. 
• Those insulated snow boots you'll need to walk around in knee-deep snow will be dangerous to wear in the summer. 
• Waterproof boots work both ways -- while they keep water off of your feet, they also keep your foot-sweat from evaporating and can lead to some very unique odors at the end of the day. 
• Select your footwear based on your expected use of it and try to remember to have a back-up pair.

I'm old-school (some say I'm just old), so I prefer leather for my footwear. Leather is easy to care for, easy to waterproof, comfortable, renewable, and affordable. I prefer laces on my boots to zippers or slip-on styles, since they provide the ability to vary foot compression depending on the thickness of my socks and possible swelling of my feet.

Buying Footwear

Poorly fitting shoes and brand new shoes are hard on your feet, so learning how to shop for shoes is an essential step in taking care of your feet.

• Wear the type of socks you intend to use with the shoes when you shop for them to ensure a good fit. 
• Proper footwear should be snug, but not tight, and must support the sole of your foot to prevent breaking your arches. 
• I place quality boots below only food and water on my list of preps, mainly because if I can't walk then I can't gather more food or water. Spend as much as you need to in order to get good boots. That neat pack is nothing more than a pillow if you can't walk, your tacticool carbine will make a rather poor crutch, and unless you have someone willing to carry you around, your caches are just buried treasure.

Care For Your Footwear

Your feet will sweat regardless of the temperature outside. You may have to walk through water or wet areas, getting your boots wet. 

• If your boots are waterproofed or made of one of the breathable fabrics, your feet might stay dry but the boot itself will get damp. 
• When you are done walking for the day, take off your boots and find a way to dry them inside and out. 
• Campfires can work, but never set your boots closer to the fire than you can leave your hand. 
• Leather dries best with gentle heat, and plastics will melt if placed too close to a heat source.
• Brush the dirt and mud off of the outside of your footwear whenever you get time. This removes water trapped next to the surface and lets the fabric breathe on untreated boots. Spend a few extra minutes cleaning your footwear at the end of the day.
• Unless you're in IDLH (Immediate Danger to Life or Health) conditions, never sleep in your shoes/boots. Your feet need a chance to decompress and your footwear needs a chance to dry before the next day's challenges.

Care For Your Feet After Walking

Blisters form from friction between your skin and your footwear. Keeping your feet and footwear clean and dry will minimize the friction and blisters as well as reduce the chances of picking up any of the varieties of fungi that like to grow in dark, damp places.

• At the end of the day, wash and dry your feet, if you can, to get rid of dead skin and anything that may have started growing over the course of the day. 
• Change out of the boots you've worn all day and rest your feet if you can.
• Learn how to prevent and treat blisters before you get them and do what you can to avoid them. 
• Learn how to use moleskin. 
• Frostbite is a danger up here is the frozen North. Learn how to identify it and prevent it. Treatment of frostbite is advanced medicine and best left to professionals, but you should learn as much as you can.

Toenails

Keeping your toenails clean and trimmed prevents them from catching on clothing, keeps them from being forced back into the cuticle when hit, and removes a breeding ground for bacteria/fungi. You don't need to get a pedicure every week, but spend a little time trimming your nails after washing your feet (nails cut better when damp).

What Inspired This Post

A friend of mine damaged his right knee at work last fall. He already has light nerve damage from a separate medical issue and has limited feeling in his feet, so he pays attention to his feet to avoid damaging them. He developed a blister on the top of his right foot from his shoe not fitting right, and because he couldn't bend his knee all of the way, he couldn't take proper care of a simple blister. After two weeks, this poorly-treated blister became infected, and the bacteria from the infection spread and moved down into his foot. 

These are pictures from a week after his surgery -- the kind of surgery where he wasn't sure if he'd still have his foot when he woke up. I must warn you that the pictures are not pleasant to look at. If you have a weak stomach or are easily grossed-out, don't click on the links below, and for heaven's sake never open a real medical book. That is about as close to a “trigger warning” as you're ever going to get out of me. I'm a firm believer that bad things happen and turning away from or ignoring them doesn't make them go away. 

Picture #1

Picture #2

Picture #3

For those of you with limited medical training, that yellowish-green tint is a sign of gangrene. Gangrene is one of the “old” diseases that used to kill people before the invention of antibiotics. When the tissues of your body stop getting sufficient blood flow, and therefore oxygen, they start to die and break down. When the tissue breaks down, it creates a nutrient-rich environment for bacteria and the damage spreads. If you look at the pictures close enough, you'll notice that he is missing several layers of “meat” on the side and top of his foot. This is called “debridement “, which is the process of removing dead tissue in an attempt to limit the spread of the infection. The tissue may or may not grow back to fill in the hole; only time will tell.

With access to a modern American hospital and well-trained doctors, my friend is going to survive. He is currently limited to standing no more than 5 minutes at a time, not carrying anything that could put weight on his right foot, and no walking more than 30 feet. A trip to the bathroom is an Olympic event that involves hopping and balancing, and usually leaves him worn out. He is taking large doses of antibiotics chosen for the specific bacteria he was infected with, and is taking pain pills for the effects of having his foot flayed to the bones and somewhat put back together. 

Recovery time is estimated at 12 weeks. That's three months of no work, no play, and no walking.

If this had happened anywhere or anywhen without the medical support facilities of a modern city, the best he could have hoped for was an amputation below the knee. Untreated, it would have killed him.

Take care of your damn feet, people.

Harsh Realities: Staying Human.

It's month six of the chaos. Your tribe is at each others' throats, everyone is stressed out, and some of the fights have resulted in knives and guns being drawn. One of the men beat his girl to a bloody pulp, and she turned around and killed herself in front of some of the women. The women are terrified of the men now. You find yourself watching the sun set and wondering... what happened?

It's not that far-fetched. Humans are creatures that can become addicted to easy comforts and soft working conditions. You've been prepping for years, weeks, months, days... but have you prepped to stay human? Have you put back something as simple as a football?

Today we address something that seriously concerns me about our prepping community. I see countless articles about the best ways to store canned goods, take care of chickens that have an egg stuck, and endless debates that go nowhere over the best guns, but where does your humanity fit into all of this?

How are you going to stay feeling human? Have you even allowed yourself the understanding that you will need to continue to need to re-affirm the bonds of your tribe despite it's SHTF?

We humans are social creatures. It's built into us (regardless of how you think we came into existence, the need to be around another human being is there) to be social with members of our species. Even if it's only for a few hours every week, it's there. The pubs and bars aren't going to be there anymore. The libraries, the coffee shops, the TV, the internet, radio ... they won't be up and running for awhile, if ever again. What will you do for music? For entertainment?

Books

Ideally, everyone will be able to bug in. (Stay put, in other words.) Do you have a library you've built up a little bit? There are going to be days when the weather is so foul, you don't want to do your outside work. Or maybe you've managed to get done everything you wanted to do that day. So give yourself the treat of a few chapters of a book. Good places to go for such things are:

• Garage sales - You can find many of the older, harder to find books at such sales and for less than a few dollars (maybe even one of those one where is a box of books and a sign that says 25 cents.) 
• Used book stores - Where I currently live (Los Angeles), there are dozens of lovely stores that have paperbacks for 50 cents and hardbacks for up to two dollars. If you pick up a book that is part of a series, be sure to make a note on your phone about which books you're missing and take them off the list as you find them. 
• LIBRARY! - Once a year, if not more often, libraries hold a book sale.  I'm unsure of the particulars on which books get sold, but it's another great way to get books of almost any kind - even old textbooks. 
• Amazon.com - No, seriously. You can find, as long as you buy used, books on ANY topic at any level of skill and in any genre for fractions of their original prices. Like this one : John Ringo's "The Last Centurion", Thomas Bullfinch's Mythology (a massive wonderful volume of the myths), etc. 

Books will play an integral part in keeping your mind and skills sharp. They can be incorporated into games for the kids and bored adults (think scavenger hunts and places to hide clues). They can be a weekend treat, when everyone wakes up on the official “we all take it easy day” and grabs something to read, or even just a box that gets pulled out when it seems nerves are ready to start fraying.

Yes yes, I know "Kindle/Nook have a month long battery yada yada yada". Have you gotten a solar charger for it yet? You do remember the Law of Murphy, yes? Then be putting back paper books my friends.

Games

For the love of the God(s),  store some games! Board games like Monopoly, Life, Scrabble, Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Uno, Battleship, chess, checkers, etc. Even basic playing cards are good to have.

Time taken to play games with those you are closest with in your tribe - be they lover, friend or child - are important, even today. These are bonding moments that cement relationships and help relieve tension. It can be one on one time or a fire team (er...four to six people. Eesh, can you tell my partner is a Marine? ) group bonding time. Hell, challenging that cute person (who you know is single when you're also single...) to a game of checkers can help break the ice to a new relationship and new bond that makes the tribe stronger as a whole in the end.

Games give you a means to make a connection with members of your tribes that you may not otherwise interact with. Even games that are more physically active like football, soccer, volleyball, baseball, Frisbee, hopscotch, hackey sacking (whoa, hey now. I'm a hackey-sacker. It's an incredibly good work out when you've five or more people playing and a good exercise on knees and hips that need a good dose of loosening up), basketball, etc. Games like those let out aggression that might be cropping up over what usually wouldn't be a problem, and help get tempers sorted out.

A good round of football does amazing wonders for the soul. (Yes, I preferred being a receiver but the guys I always played with had me be a tight end. They hated me being on defense because I was a damn good quarterback sacker. I always got my man… why are you giggling?)

Hackey sacking, when done with multiple people, tends to cause hysterical laughter as you stop being able to take yourself seriously and the humor is contagious. Also, hackey sacks and checker/chess boards can be easily made via crochet or knitting so try not to stress too much if these aren't already in your preps. I'll have patterns here very soon.

Celebrations

Trust me, you need them. Even if it's just the full moon, and a simple special treat at that night's meal to celebrate that months birthdays, celebrations are something that have been a part of being human since our inception. Whether you believe in creation or evolution, you know humans need times to hold feasts and celebrations. Be it a new baby, a partnership of two people made official to the whole of the tribe, a good harvest season, or the longest day and the shortest day of the year, you will need celebrations.

At this point I will ask you, do you have a means of keeping a calender figured out? Do you have at least a ten year calender set aside?

I advise that you find ways to keep track of four days: Longest day and shortest night; equal day and night (the equinoxes, the spring and fall); shortest day and longest night.

These will enable you and your tribe to keep a good handle on the seasons. Seasonal changes will affect you and tribemates - for example, getting enough sunshine in the winter.

Physical Relationships

Now, I'll be the first to admit my thoughts on this may be a bit different than most people's. Being able to hug someone and then later at night have sex with them... that's a fact of life that you cannot ignore. At some point, everyone will be wanting to have sex with someone else. I am not going to tell you shouldn't. Hell, you might have a couple of lovers. I am NOT going to tell you it's wrong or right. It's your choice as to what you decide to do in that area.

What I will tell you is not to be afraid of having sex with your lover(s). Enjoy the encounters (as long as both parties CONSENT to said encounter). Kiss them, hold them tightly and seek them in your arms frequently when they are your forever partner. Be passionate with them.

Sex relieves stress and builds bonds between people. (Yes even for guys. Anyone who says that sex doesn't build bonds is so full of crap that it's beyond ridiculous.) Sex is normal, natural and for the love of God(s) do not be afraid of engaging in it. It's okay to hold hands, steal kisses on the cheek. You can even get creative and woo her/him again. Just listen when the rest of the tribe tells you to put the guitar up and stop trying to sing to them, mkay?

Play!

Play games. Play hide and go seek with the kids. Play with the baby animals. Deliberately run the leave piles in the fall. Play will help you keep the world's weight on your shoulders from getting worse.

It helps you remember that you are a human.

Harsh Realities: Hygiene

Author warning: this one could get gross. There, you've been warned.

Did you know....

That one of the main reasons women get medically evacuated from military deployments is due to kidney infections? That progressed to that stage due to un-treated Urinary Tract Infections? That were perfectly avoidable?   Articles I've seen estimate it as low as 32% to upwards of 68%, due to such problems. Just be careful when you go to research this.  You end up with a lot of articles that are on either side of this  "issue" over women deploying that are so full of dross it's pukeable.  Like this article.

Ladies and Gents, pay attention:   Your genitalia region needs to be kept clean along with your armpits.

Seriously.

Ladies, two words: Yeast infections.

Now yes, it's bloody unfair that guys do not have to worry about those wrong!  Men can get yeast infections.  They just don't notice most of the time.

Thought you were in the clear there didn't you boys?

Now we all know the joys of a hot shower after a particular grimy day outside and of scrubbing off the day. This is a luxury. You will know it as such, when SHTF. Bathing will take up precious water resources, however keeping yourselves clean is not something that you should be sacrificing. Our ancestors had open freaking sewers and they did not bathe as frequently as one might think. One of the insults from the Chinese when the Europeans started showing up was that they stunk. Hygiene was a bigger deal to them than Europe and America for a long time.

You don't need a huge bathtub to get clean. Get a pot of water and heat it until the steam is just starting to rise off it. Any hotter than that and you will scald yourself. (We are trying to avoid as much self-inflicted misery as we can, remember?) Get your wash cloth (I'll have patterns for home made ones here soon, as they last longer than store bought, work better and can be made in varying colors to show which is whose), soak yourself down, make thyself soapy and then pour the rest of the water a little at a time over your shoulders to wash off the soap. ( You have remembered to set aside a bathing area in the tribe commons right?) Save some for your scalp.

Now, you want to keep your hair clean too and combed out every day.  Ticks are a serious concern in much of the United States and keeping yourself free of them is crucial.  Bathing frequently lets you check for them, chigger bites (plus the vinegar you are using on your hair takes the itch out of those blasted things' bites), etc. Now to give you more information on what kind of diseases and viruses are carried by ticks:

• Lyme's Disease
• Relapsing fever 
• Typhus
• Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
• Helvetica Spotted Fever
• Tularemia

Ticks are best killed by fire.  Yes, now you get to legitimately yell "KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Very simple. Bathing does not need to happen every day, however washing your plumbing is something that should happen every night before sleeping.

 Two reasons for this:

1. It'll help you sleep better. ( Don't believe me? Try it out for a couple weeks right now. Sleep is sleep, regardless of what the world is doing.)
2. It reduces the chance of UTI's and yeast infections in women.

Ladies those yeast infections and UTI's are a bitch. I've seen some estimates that state 90% of women by the time we're 40 have experienced both multiple times. The yeast infection symptoms and UTI symptoms can seriously destroy your ability to be productive in any manner that is satisfying to yourself.

Now Gents (thought I had forgotten about you didn't ya?), you should clean down there too. You are going to be wanting to get frisky. As a courtesy, to whomever your partner is ... clean it! That stench is appalling when you want to be physically intimate with someone that you have a close bond too.  Now, it's entirely
possible to do a mutual bath which would be good for couples.  However I am not going to go there right now, I'll just leave you this pic on the right so that you get the general idea.  

It's a respect thing in a way. You keep yourself clean, and don't reek like a gamer on the last day of Dragon*Con, you find it's easier to interact with tribe and friend.  AND you help yourself feel a little bit more human in all the chaos.

Here soon we'll be having a couple of articles on soap making along with a much longer article next week.

(P.S. If this seems a bit less polished than normal that is because our lovely Editor is on vacation, and I do not posses the same level of skill in polishing articles that she does.  My apologies about that.)

Harsh Realities: PTSD/S

PTSD is not a new problem for humanity.

Let me make something very clear right now: Are you alive and conscious? If "yes", then you can get PTSD (or PTSS, Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms).

There's a reason that “TRAUMATIC” is a part of the name. Many things could cause it; basically anything that you experience directly or indirectly such as:

• Rape
• Combat
• Work as a first responder
• Abuse (years of it accumulated or a brief, very brutal period)
• Really bad car wrecks
• Someone committing suicide in front of you
• Major disasters (Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc)

If you are a human being, then you can develop the symptoms of PTSD/S. However, this does not cue the end of your world.

Please note most of what I say is based on my own personal experiences. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR EVERYONE with PTSD/S. Yes symptoms will be the same in many causes, however causes are not. 

As hinted in prior articles, PTSD/S is something that I deal with on a personal level. I personally can't speak for everyone on this, thus I'll be referencing myself.  At this point I can only offer up my personal thoughts and how I've been dealing with it. I can point you to the information, but you need to draw up your own plan and conclusions.

Yes, at times it can be a fight with myself, but it can be dealt with, regardless of how bad it is. Part of the problem with treating PTSD/S is that many people have no concept of how much trust plays a role in being able to deal with it. Another part of the problem is how seductive it can be to use drugs as the "cure-all" that so many in the psychology community seem to think them to be.

At the end of this article will be some links for you, with more information on PTSD/S in general and links to a few organizations that are currently busting ass trying to help our veterans here in the USA deal with it - and by so doing, indirectly help people like me. Please read through those articles.

Thought number 1: SKILLS!

I don't think it's possible for me to emphasize this one enough. By being able to improve my quality of life, or the lives of other people in my tribe - even in small ways - I get an endorphin high practically every time I finish a project. It proves, to the inner critic that is my worst enemy, that I do have worth. Worth which is not decided by others, as there will always be someone who adores the ever living hell out of me; it is decided by myself.

For me, I set out to master crocheting (then knitting, and it was sewing before crocheting) and I'm getting there, but anyone with half a brain will tell you that you can always improve any skill. Every project I finish beats my PTSD back just a little bit more and makes it more manageable.

Practicing a skill is a good way to send a polite signal to others around me that I need some space. My work area acts as a refuge while I get some time to breathe. 

When I use my skills, even if I only use them for a few minutes and then go sit in the sun for a while, it strengthens the process of being able to believe in myself, of being able to convince myself that I can handle this.

Thought number 2: A companion

This one factor was a huge tipping point for me, because it shifted everything from just barely manageable to being able to go for a few days with almost no problem. A buddy (be it a pet or a damn good friend, male or female) who is watching your back makes a huge impact. It lets me relax a little bit. Such buddies are lifesavers.

I had both my cat and my fiance/partner. Both can tell at this point when I need to be handed a ball of yarn , gently loved on, or a little extra security... though my fiance's manner of giving me yarn to do something with  is much preferred over the cat's. The MindyCat, as she is called, will sit and watch me for a few seconds and then take immediate action which she knows will send me into giggle fits.

Being able to laugh, sleep, even just enjoy being outside with the others in your tribe... it's to easy to take for granted honestly. Learning NOW how to deal with it, be it yourself or a member of your tribe is your first official homework from me. It can be the difference between life and death.

Links

PTSD in general:

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• What is PTSD? Link 1
• What is PTSD Link 2
• How to deal with PTSD link 1
• And another link

Organizations for PTSD/S help:

• The Battle Buddy Foundation
• The Lone Survivor

(Just don't say this to anyone with PTSD.
Numbers 1-3, 6, 8 and 10 cross over to civilians like me. Just don't.)

Triage

There are some emergency medical articles in the works, so I thought I'd preface them with some posts that clarify terms and methods. Today’s word is “Triage”.

Triage is a method of deciding which victims of an incident get care (prioritizing care) when the number or type of injuries overwhelms a responder's abilities to help all of the victims. This may sound cruel or heartless, but when you're the only medically-trained responder at a ten car pile-up, you have to have some way of deciding who to help because you won't be able to help them all and trying to would only mean that none of them would get proper care.

The factors that determine when to start to triage an incident are:

1. The number of victims - if the victims outnumber the people able to help, you should start prioritizing the victims.
2. The severity of injuries to the victims - if the injuries are severe, you should begin triage
3. The number of responders - see number 1 above. As more help arrives (you hope), things will get easier to handle.
4. The training levels of the responders - a car load of physicians can handle more injuries than a car load of Boy Scouts.

The START system

Simple Triage And Rapid Treatment is the method that I was trained to use. It is one of a few slightly different triage systems in use, and the one I know best so I'll explain how it works. START was developed to give responders a quick way to prioritize treatment in a mass-casualty incident, and it breaks victims down into four color-coded categories.

1. Green. The walking wounded, tag them “green” and move them out of the way to a safe area.
2. Yellow. Delayed treatment. Injuries that are not life-threatening or don't require immediate aid.
3. Red. Immediate treatment. Life-threatening injuries that you need to work on or transport to treatment right now.
4. Black. Dead or Expected to die. Treatment has little to no chance of preventing death or victim is already dead and treatment would be pointless.

The color-coded categories are assigned by doing some very simple checks. Since I haven't figured out how to draw a flow chart, I'll just go through the steps.

1. Are they ambulatory (walking under their own power)? Tag them Green and send them to a holding area. Make sure someone is at the holding area to keep them informed of the situation and monitor them.
2. Are they breathing? If not, reposition the airway (like you would for CPR) and check again. If they start breathing, tag them Red. If they don't start breathing, tag them Black and move on to the next victim. If they were breathing on their own, check the rate of respiration - if they're breathing less than 10 or more than 30 times per minute tag them Red. If respiration is normal (10-30 times per minute) go to step 3.
3. Check for pulse at the wrist or check capillary refill (squeeze a fingernail and see how fast the color comes back). If there is no pulse or the capillary refill (CR) takes more than 2 seconds, tag them Red. If they have a pulse or CR is less than 2 seconds, go to step 4.
4. Mental status. Ask them to squeeze your hand or some other simple act. If they understand and obey, tag them Yellow. If they can't, tag them Red.

Triage is an on-going process. Once you have assigned a color to a victim, someone has to monitor the Green and Yellow tagged victims to watch for signs that their condition is getting worse. The Red tags should be treated or transported to treatment immediately, The Yellow tags next, and the Green tags last. The Black tags are sadly not going anywhere until everyone else has been taken care of.

As a side note, triage can also be applied to other situations in life. If you're evaluating anything that is in trouble you can create a triage system for it. Keep it quick and simple and learn to make decisions quickly and decisively. Being wishy-washy and not wanting to commit to any action is not a good way to prepare for anything.

Harsh Realities: Rape

This is one of only a few posts where I will post a trigger warning.

You will encounter rape survivors.

Men and women.

Many survivors end up with PTSD, which will be addressed in a later post.

There are five factors that determine how badly it's going to affect the person:



1) Your Mindset.  If you're the type of person who, despite odds, is always fighting back (or trying to); who keeps as much of a can-do attitude as possible; and who has not just a thick skin but a hard interior as well, it won't affect you as much. That's not to say it won't be traumatic, because it will - just not as much.. If you're the kind who cries because her boss yells at her, you're going to be even more miserable.  My advice is that  you prepare yourself before something happens. Harden The Fuck Up now, and you'll be better able to deal with something like rape later if it comes to it.

2) The level of violence with which the act was committed. Some folks are so violently raped that even years afterwards it haunts them in everything.  In other cases it wasn't that violent because fear made the victim docile and.... No. Wait. Keep in mind that it isn't up to you how violent your attacker is. You could be completely compliant and get badly beaten anyway. A man who'll use violence to rape will use violence just because he wants to. At any rate, the level of violence makes a big difference to the amount of trauma.

3) How aware you were of the act. From wide awake to passed-out drunk, your level of consciousness helps define the damage. If you don't actually experience the act, just the aftereffects, obviously it will traumatize you less than someone who was completely conscious the entire time.

4) How well the person knew their attackers. If the attacker is someone you trusted, that betrayal of trust adds a whole new level of emotional trauma completely apart from that of the rape.

5) The number of attackers. If there are more than one subhuman creatures willing to commit such a despicable act, you have to look at it as not one violation made worse by their numbers, but multiple violations, the damage of each one heaped atop the damage of the others.


These five factors end up creating a high amount of variables.  Yes, each rape will have similarities, but inevitably each woman or man's case will be unique to them.

Several things will come into play: Trust will have to rebuilt, depression will occur, and self-worth may have been reduced.  But some of the things you can do for the victim are really quite simple.

Respect them.

Respect their personal space.  Don't touch them, without asking permission.  Let them initiate contact.  Don't push them if they don't want to be touched. Don't force them to hug you, to be standing close to you, etc. They will only recoil from you in fear.  Once they take the step first, don't crush them into yourself.  Just hold them and LET GO when they want you to.

As they heal and re-find their confidence, they'll let you know when you can hug or touch without constant permission.  There will still be times you need to ask, but it won't be every time.  When will that be? Every person is different.  Some people may only need a few weeks, other may need years.  YOU must not let them see you lose patience with them. YOU must never recoil from them.

Reassure them. They may be feeling like damaged goods.  Broken, worthless individuals.  You will need to verbally re-assure that they aren't.  That they mean something to you, and that they are going to be okay.

Respect their need for not wanting lectures.  They don't need your stupid lectures on what they should have done or what they can do deal with it. When they've healed, advice may be helpful. But it can wait.

Which leads back to just reassuring them.  Tell them while it's probably going to be a hard road, they WILL be okay and that they CAN do it.


I can tell you a lot about what it's like being a survivor.  Here is a link to a post on my personal blog. I can tell you, most (80%) people, regardless of "side", are full of it regarding this topic.

And men, don't listen when someone says you can't help her heal.  They're so full of crap it's ridiculous. This guy here can attest to that.

Every person's experience is going to be different.  The PTSD that will occur in many cases is rough to handle, but again we'll cover that in a later post.

I can tell you this, though: if you, either as a survivor or as the person who is helping the survivor heal, let yourself go through the emotions - the anger, the grief, all of it - and don't repress, you come out of the experience a stronger and wiser person.  It's completely possible.  It's hard work, but don't let that stop you.


(Editor's Note:  Due to the sensitive nature of this blog post, comments will be monitored . Disagreement is fine, but if it dissolves into personal attacks or BS political correctness, I will unleash the wrath of God upon you.  You Have Been Warned.)