Erin's Bad Prepper Habits

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

& is used with permission.

We all have bad habits in our every day lives, so it stands to reason that we have bad habits (some might call them "toxic traits") in our hobbies and lifestyles. Emergency Preparedness is no exception to this, and in fact I could argue that it is prone to more magical thinking and totemism than most. Case in point: the Doomsday Preppers TV show of last decade, which promoted the perception of "In order to survive a big emergency you need to invest hundreds of thousands of dollars into bunkers, bug-out vehicles and off-grid living" and which irritated me so much that it led to the creation of this very blog, whose philosophy is "Don't be deterred by shows like that. You can prepare on a budget, step by step, for the emergencies which are likely to affect you."

With that said, I too have bad prepper habits, and I hope that by confessing them I can embolden my other writers to do the same. I don't have any ulterior motive to this -- I certainly don't want to shame anyone -- but I do hope that by sharing my weaknesses I can make some of you feel better about your own failings, and perhaps I can receive some support and advice about how best to overcome mine. 

So here, in no particular order, are my Bad Prepper Habits. 

1. I don't shoot nearly as much as I should. Between the increase of ammunition prices in the run-up to the 2016 election, my withdrawal from a lot of social events after the family dog mauled my face, and a feeling of "I might need these later," I haven't been putting in the same time at the range as I did in the early 20-teens. I mitigate this some with dry fire practice, and the last time I went shooting back in October I was pleased that my skills hadn't degraded as much as I'd feared, but the fact remains that I know marksmanship is a perishable skill and that I've been neglecting "arms day". 
2. I collect books instead of reading them. I've mentioned previously that I was once a voracious reader, but these days I struggle with finding the time, the quiet, and the concentration to do so. (I suspect that I have undiagnosed ADHD.) I get around this listening to podcasts, audiobooks, and YouTube videos while I do other things so that I feel productive, but when it comes to "identifying edible plants" or "learning primitive skills" and so forth, those are things which need to be studied, not just absorbed via auditory (and sometimes visual) osmosis. I comfort myself by telling myself that it's good to have these books for a grid-down emergency and I can consult them for information when needed, but I still feel like a slacker for not cracking the spines of these books and at least familiarizing myself with their contents. The biggest lie which I tell myself is that "I'll get around to reading them soon."
   
   

   

   Just some of my books. I've looked through all of them,
   but I can't honestly say that I've read any of them. 

   
   
3. I don't get out into the woods enough. I have a lot of allergies (dust, mold, pollen, animal dander) and it's just a gross feeling to constantly be sneezing and blowing my nose because I'm around plants and animals, or scratching because my skin touched something it didn't like and now it's red and inflamed. Bugs seem to love biting me, which is another source of inflammation and irritation, and my pale skin burns pretty easily in the sun. Put all of this together and it's a laundry list of why I prefer to live inside my perfect bubble of air conditioning and HEPA filtering. I know that in most disasters and emergencies that power will be the first to go, and yet I look for ways to ensure my creature comforts continue rather than learn to "embrace the suck". 

If I thought about it for long enough I could probably find more, but those are my Big Three. If you're inclined to talk about your Bad Prepper (or Prepping) Habits, then let me tell you that this is a safe space and a no judgement zone. 

Text, History, and Tradition

As regular readers know, I am Jewish. As more attentive readers know, Passover begins towards the end of April. As even more observant readers know, Purim was just celebrated in March. What does all this have to do with prepping? In the immortal words of Tevya, Tradition!

There are many types of traditions. In addition to secular holidays and religious events, some families have game night, others have leftover night, and there's always Taco Tuesday. 

Being able to follow traditions, even in harsh conditions, can be of immense benefit to emotional and psychological survival. For example, during the Holocaust, groups of Jewish prisoners in the concentration camps scrounged enough supplies to celebrate the Passover Seder. They did this even knowing if they were caught they would be punished, tortured, and even killed. After the war, some of the survivors credited this type of action with aiding their survival. It gave them hope, reminded them of better times, and helped them remember they weren't alone. Their first Passover after liberation was particularly joyful, for they had survived.

Young Jewish refugees at a Passover Seder, c. 1947

On a lighter note, parents of small children should have a few favorite books, either paper or electronic, for bedtime stories or activities. There are books I re-read when I feel overwhelmed or especially stressed. Having a copy of these to revisit during a survival situation, an environment high in both stress and overwhelming emotions, would likely help me persevere. This turns simple books into respites of immense value.

Children's Travel Books

There are also travel and e-versions of many popular games. These may take up a little space and add a small amount of weight, but they can also create a positive psychological difference out of proportion to these concerns.

Games on the Go

When are are planning your preps, don't forget that psychological and emotional health is just as important as physical health.

What traditions do you think would be of particular benefit during survival situations?

Magical Thinking

I've switched jobs again. It seems like every year the company finds another problem that they think I can deal with; the most recent change is due to staff shortages caused by an aging workforce and the various societal issues we're all dealing with. We're not alone; there are “help wanted” signs everywhere, and finding people willing to work is getting harder. My new job is mostly delivering propane to customers, and it has made me aware of just how bad the “magical thinking” has gotten in our world.

Magical thinking is when people choose to be ignorant of how things work, just so long as they work. One former co-worker described it as “You don't have to know how the TV works as long as it turns on when you press the switch”. Unfortunately, our jobs required us to repair the “TV” that he was referring to, so he had a lot to learn.

There is a running joke about “First-world problems”, and I'm sure you've seen a few memes or cartoons that mention the concept: problems that most of the world doesn't have to deal with because they're too busy trying to stay alive and put food on the table. Those of us in the “first-world” have life easy and have the luxury of complaining when non-essential services fail or we are inconvenienced by the lack of what most of the world would consider a luxury. Magical thinking is a big part of those “first-world problems”.

I've run into customers that can't read an analog gauge on their propane tank. We're talking a 1.5 inch diameter dial with an arrow that points from 5-95%, not rocket science. This is in Iowa, where temperatures drop below zero every winter and most rural houses use propane as a source of heat, either as a primary source or as backup heat. Magical thinking tells them that the propane just appears in the tank and the heater just runs when they turn it on, so they don't think about it beyond that.

Magical thinking is:

• Not caring what happens when you flush the toilet. It just “goes away”... until it doesn't. Then it becomes an emergency for someone else to fix.
• Not knowing, or caring, where your food/fuel/water comes from.
• Thinking that you will always be able to buy a replacement for something that wears out of breaks.
• Thinking that everything works now, so it will always work.
• Trusting others to make decisions that will have a major impact on your life.

I've fought against magical thinking for most of my life. I'm a curious person; I like to learn new things, and I like to teach others things that are new to them. I've been staff at a couple of military schools, a Cub Scout leader for a decade, a safety and compliance trainer at three companies, and done a bunch of impromptu teaching as the opportunities arise. Knowing how and why things work is part of my being a prepper, because it gives me the insight to see potential problems and look for ways to work around them.

 Unexpected problems are easier to deal with if you can find a way to make things work... but that requires knowing how they're supposed to work in the first place.

Mental Flexibility

One of the main differences that I've seen between preppers and “normal” people is their level of mental flexibility. I don't mean the range of ideas that people consider; I mean the very concept that other ideas are possible.

“Normal” people are often stuck in a rut of some sort. They have a routine that varies only slightly from day to day, and if it varies beyond their comfort zone they react poorly. Panic, aggression, denial, and stasis (shutting down, not moving or acting at all) are common “normal” responses to any situation that violates their view of existence. The trope of a “Karen” flipping out over minor things that has become popular in recent years is a good example of how an inflexible mind reacts to change. Other examples include:

• The route/road to work is closed due to weather, an accident, construction, etc. A “normie” will get frustrated, angry, or confused. This starts the day on a sour note that will color how they react to everything for hours.
• One of the rugrats fell and scraped their knee. Panic ensues and the really clueless will call 911. The child learns that this is a “normal” reaction and will likely react the same way when they get older.
• A button pops off of a shirt, a zipper breaks, or a pair of pants gets a hole in it. It's “normal” to toss it in the trash and buy a new one, while lamenting the poor quality (that they chose).
• Violation of the “4 stupids” rules (being in a stupid place, with stupid people, at a stupid time of night, doing stupid things) causes bad things to happen. Normies will find someone to blame (denial) for the consequences of those bad things. Note that if you remove at least one of the “stupids”, things tend to work out. I've got plenty of good stories of doing things with 2-3 of them, but rarely has any activity with all 4 turned out well.
• Job requirements change and you're expected to do something new/different. I've seen a lot of this lately due to economic and social changes and anger, denial, and stasis are very common reactions. My work varies with the seasons and I've seen people quit a job because they were told they couldn't sit around and drink coffee all day if there were no customers. The concept of doing anything beyond what they considered their job was so abhorrent that they quit rather than learn something new. “I haven't done that for the 15 years I've been here, why should I start now?” is a direct quote from a co-worker.

Preppers, on the other hand, tend to be a bit more flexible in their thinking. If something goes awry, they try to find ways to keep moving towards their goals. Surviving may be the main goal that we strive for, while being aware that life is temporary, but even shorter-term goals can be achieved despite hiccups of the universe if you keep looking for ways to make them happen. Examples:

• Road blockages are just a good reason to explore new routes to work, or aren't a problem because you already have alternate routes planned. You might be a few minutes late, but the day isn't ruined.
• Scraped knees, minor cuts and burns, and other minor medical issues are treated at home from the first aid kit or medicine cabinet. Children learn to take care of themselves and others rather than relying on “professionals” for everything.
• Minor wardrobe malfunctions are a part of life and a needle and thread are not some kind of arcane magic. Repairing clothing saves money for use on other things. Buying good quality clothing is an investment because it lasts longer.
• Situational awareness will prevent violating the 4 stupids rule because you'll be able to predict what can happen if you do. Thinking ahead is always a good thing and planning for the unexpected is even better.
• Jobs are temporary in today's world. The days of having a career with one company that lasts 40 years are long gone, so we have to be willing to learn new skills and apply what we know in new ways. A varied set of skills will also leave you more options when you're looking for a better job. I have a Commercial Driver's License (CDL) with the additional testing to carry hazardous materials. I need this for some of the fertilizers and pesticides I work with, but our fuel department lost four drivers in less than a month so I'm filling in and delivering propane to customers' houses for a few weeks. After two days, the fuel manager offered me a permanent position with a roughly 20% raise in pay. I'm thinking about it, but it's a much more physically demanding job and I'm not a young man any more.

The old saying that “Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance” is the heart of prepping. Having what you need, whether it's supplies, knowledge, or tribe, makes responding to life's inevitable challenges a lot easier. We're here to help you with all three.

Life in the Time of WTF

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

As& is used with permission.

I seem to be living in a constant state of "What the F**k" as I deal with the ramifications of my father having dementia, being in rehab, and trying to get him into a VA home. Some days I am sobbing in frustration, wondering WTF I can do to fix things; other days I am full of rage as I scream "WTF is going on here?"; and others I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, wondering WTF is wrong with me and why can't I pull it together? And of course there's all the family drama going on that I haven't touched on because it doesn't belong here. 

So this (unfortunately late) post is going to be a buffet of things that have kept me more-or-less sane over the past few months.

Escapism

Being able to get out of my own head and escape the stress for a few hours is a wonderful tool and I make use of it constantly. In addition to playing online games with my friends, which is both escapism and socialization, I also listen to audiobooks. I prefer them to books because I can do other things while I listen, like drive the car or clean the house, and that increases my efficiency. 

Right now I'm (re-)listening to The Martian, which is a science-fiction story of survival. If you've already seen the movie I encourage you to read (or listen to) the book anyway; it goes into more technical detail than the book does, and I find that level of crunchiness enjoyable. Also, the narrator of the audiobook does a magnificent job with all the different voices. 

Projects

I've mentioned before that my father is a hoarder, and so mom and I are going through his room and closet to get rid of things he won't ever use. For example, he's lost so much weight that most of his clothes will no longer fit him, so we're deciding what to keep, what to give to friends, and what to donate to charity. This may sound like drudgery, and I admit it's not very fun to do, but there's something to be said for the sense of control it gives me ("I may not be able to change my current situation, but I can control this") and the feelings of accomplishment I get when I accomplish something (hahahah dopamine goes ping!)

Directed Rage

Yes, you read that correctly; there are times when my only option is to vent my anger by destroying something, and so the challenge is to direct that rage towards something that either needs to be destroyed (like cutting down a tree) or won't be harmed by the destruction. For example, the other day I buzzcut my hair to 1/8 inch. Oh, I look horrible like this, but I feel so much cooler now in hot, humid Florida, and I love the non-maintenance of it. Besides, it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone with my looks these days anyway. 

As a point of interest, I have made the decision not to go shooting on days I feel like this. 

Eating

Hey, I never said these were healthy ways of coping. I know it's not good for me to eat late at night, or to inhale a pint of ice cream in one sitting, but it's psychologically fulfilling. Not only does it tell my brain "I know you're worried about survival right now, so let me reassure you that we aren't going to starve any time soon", but I also sleep better at night with something in my belly. 

There's even a German word for this: Frustfressen, which means "frustration eating". There, that's something you know now. 

I can't think of a good way to end this, so I'll just say that hopefully the next time I post, it will be more helpful than this. Maybe I'll have pictures of some of my prepping projects. 

Drama and Stress

Sometimes life throws things at us that we aren't ready for; that's one of the reasons we prep. Trying to foresee difficulties and avoid them, or at least minimize their impact on our lives, is more important than having the “right” brand of water filter or the perfect knife in your BOB. Drama, the modern word for over-reaction and exaggeration on the part of people, is one of those things we all need to be on the watch for.

Before anyone gets hurt feelings, this is not directed at anyone in particular. I've been dealing with a load of crap from family and co-workers lately that brought this to mind, so I sat and did some serious thinking about it. I've come to the conclusion that I get a lot less drama from the family that I've chosen (tribe) than from the family I was born into. 

We all have someone in our circle of people who is a “drama queen”, the one whose life is always falling apart and has to share it with anyone within earshot. Rather than work on the problem like an adult, they prefer to whine and complain and tend to make everyone around them miserable. Being an older man from a rather stoic part of the country, I have little patience for drama. I'll listen to a friend in turmoil or a stranger in need, but enabling a continuous pity party isn't going to do either of us any good. To me, problems exist to be solved, not carried around and waved about whenever someone wants attention. I'm more than willing to do what I can to help solve problems, but some people are not interested in giving up their source of attention.

One form of drama is over-reaction to and over-sharing of things that happen to us all. One of my young friends is in his teens, and after being dumped by his girlfriend his world was ending. Rather than let him fall into a pool of self-pity, I privately gave him some encouraging words and let him know that he wasn't the first to experience this. After a few days he contacted me to let me know that it helped, and while he was still hurting emotionally, it wasn't the end of the world. The saying “There's noting new under the sun” is pretty close to the truth when it comes to most human interactions. Reading histories and novels written centuries ago will show that people haven't changed all that much. This is why there are so few original movies: all of the good ideas have already been explored and made into movies, sequels, reboots, etc. This is also why so many religious organizations have rules and codes of conduct: patterns of behavior were witnessed throughout the years and the outcomes were always the same, so those behaviors with bad outcomes became “sins” to be avoided.

A second form of drama that is common is rumor and innuendo. I have very little tolerance for rumors in my life; to me, unconfirmed information is merely something that might deserve a follow-up investigation. I don't trust anything that starts with, “I heard” or “Somebody told me”; if you can't put a name to a source, it's a rumor or an attempt to slander someone. Since 90% of statements that start like that are personal attacks that will have zero effect on my life, I disregard them and refuse to pass them on. Why should I care who someone else is sleeping with unless it's my wife? I'm fairly content with my pay (if I wasn't I'd be looking for another job), so why should I care how much someone else is making? Most of our “news” is nothing but rumors, with actual facts getting reported are a fringe benefit. Rumors can damage morale more than even the worst leader regardless of the size of an organization, so watch for those who like to spread them. Those who stir the shit should have to lick the spoon.

The third type of drama is the person who feels a need to be involved in everyone else's lives. Letting others live their lives is not good enough for this type, since they know what is right and proper. Busybodies, those who have to stick their noses into everyone's business, and judgmental idiots of all stripes fit in this category.

You'll never be able to completely remove the drama from your life, but you can minimize its impact.

• Avoid the drama-makers when possible. Don't give them the chance to drag you into their world.
• Treat them like the child they're acting like. If you act like a 3 year-old, you'll get treated like a 3 year-old.
• Don't react at all,  but stay calm. If they get nothing from you, they'll be likely to seek out another target.
• Make communications simple and fact-based, and don't let them veer off into rumor.
• Offer calm advice, if any. Hyperbole is one of their tactics, so don't play by their rules.

Drama causes stress in both the initiator and the recipient. None of us need more stress in our lives, so minimizing the amount of drama that you have to deal with is a form of self-preservation.

Secondhand Stress

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

& is used with permission.

We've all heard of secondhand smoke, which is where someone who isn't a smoker can suffer the ill effects of cigarettes by being around one or more people who do smoke. I put it to you that Secondhand Stress also exists, whereby you suffer the stress experienced by others.

Case in point: me. I am largely a hermit by choice, preferring to stay at home so I don't have to interact with irritating people. As such, the "lockdown" had little effect on me personally. I didn't even mind wearing a mask, as that both covered my "resting bitch face" and made people more inclined to avoid me. However, I have experienced growing levels of stress for quite some time, because even though the lockdown doesn't affect me, it affects the family members with whom I live. They are becoming increasingly short-tempered and irritable, and because I live with them that means the tension levels in the house increase, and therefore my stress levels go up.

In my case, not only am I more irritable than usual, having both a shorter temper and my anger burning hotter when I do snap, but all this stress is also taking its toll on me physically. I feel exhausted all the time, with no energy or desire to do anything except sleep, and yet when I do sleep for 8 hours or more, I never feel fully rested. I am also less creative and my ability to communicate complex concepts is diminished, both of which cause me frustration and only add to my stress levels. 

This feeling is somewhat similar to depression, but there are key differences. 

• While I cannot speak for others, when my depression kicks in it happens very quickly, whereas in this case it has been slowly building for 6 months. 
• My depression has never lasted this long. Again, other people are different, but mine is cyclical and would always break within a month. 
• My depression has always been based on feeling of sadness, helplessness, and worthlessness, whereas what I am feeling now is based on frustration and impatience which threatens to explode into outrage at the slightest mishap or inconvenience. 

I don't have any good advice for how to fix this other than to emphasize the importance of everyone having a quiet place of their own where they can retreat to get away from irritation. Humans are territorial animals, and having a "den" where we can control the environment and not be bothered is critical. 

Learn from what is going on now because these lessons will be important later. If we ever have a grid-down disaster, or experience an emergency which requires long-term isolation, I expect to see these symptoms again. Even if you don't experience "cabin fever", unless you live alone the odds are good that someone in your family or tribe will, and the stress that they feel will soon be spread across your entire environment. 

Isolation

One of the major mental health problems preppers need to consider is the effects of prolonged isolation on their team and tribe. Humans are generally social animals, and so we do best when we have contact with other people and can work together towards a common goal. Being cut off from social interaction affects different people in different ways; some can handle it, while others will reach some level of insanity rather quickly. 

With the current “quarantine” guidelines and social distancing being pushed harder every day, we're getting a taste of what life could be like after a major SHTF event:

• A significant EMP attack or CME causing the loss of our electrical grid would drop civilization back to roughly 1900s levels of transportation and communication.
• A real pandemic that kills 10-20% of the population would have much of the same effect, as infrastructure would begin to fail due to lack of maintenance.
• A truly rogue government imposing strict controls over the population would come close, but there would be (and is) resistance to alleviate some of the isolation.
• People getting stranded in their cars during blizzards is an annual event up north. Some of them make it out with a good story to tell, while others don't survive the experience.
• There were Japanese soldiers that refused to surrender at the end of WW2, the last one spent almost 30years living alone in the jungles of the Philippines before finally accepting the end of the war in 1974.

Looking back through history, I can find many instances of people being isolated for long periods of time, individually and in small groups. How they dealt with the lack of contact with others, and the reactions of some of them, might provide us with clues on how to prepare for something that could happen.

Biosphere 2

Briefly, Biosphere 2 was a sealed complex that  housed 8 people for 2 years. Completely separated from the outside world except for the windows, they had to grow their own food and keep enough plants alive to provide the oxygen they needed to breathe. They had mixed results: extra food had to be brought in and the oxygen levels dropped to dangerous levels, but all 8 people survived. 

About half-way through the experiment, the crew had split into factions which is a common occurrence in isolated groups and is something to watch for.

This is an extreme case, and is closer to setting up camp on the moon or Mars than anything we will see post-SHTF short of a total nuclear war and the destruction of a significant portion of Earth's ecology.

Submarine Duty

I've known several men who served on submarine. They had to pass some pretty thorough psychological testing to qualify for that duty; the Navy has probably the best understanding of how people will react to prolonged isolation of any organization on the planet. The military discipline and sense of duty each individual has keeps them fairly sane, but there are still problems that pop up when you're spending months under water. Good food (the subs get better rations than any other group in the Navy), scheduled releases of entertainment (so there is always something new to look forward to), and the amenities provided by having a nuclear reactor on-board (plentiful fresh water and electricity) help keep the worst of the boredom and sense of deprivation to a minimum.

Space Flight

We have a very limited history of space flight, but sticking three men into a capsule the size of a modern SUV for a 8 day trip to the moon and back 50 years ago is a good example of isolation. Early flights were crewed by military pilots, so once again their discipline and sense of duty had a lot to do with the success of the missions.

The few space stations that humans have managed to put into orbit have rotating crews and regular supply deliveries. Crew members have work to do, and staying busy wards off the feelings of loneliness. They also have excellent communication with people on the ground, which helps minimize the feeling of being cut off from society.

Antarctica

There are scientific stations in Antarctica that are staffed year-round. “Wintering over” is being there for the 6 months where transportation is not available due to the extreme weather conditions, and it is about what you'd expect to experience if you crawled into a bunker for a couple of months: tight quarters, limited communications, no resupply, no escape, and no way to survive outside the buildings for more than a few minutes. 

The physical and mental effects have their own medical term, “winter-over syndrome”. Irritability, absent-mindedness, aggression, and insomnia are common symptoms -- think of it as a prolonged period of living with a three-year-old. Gossip and rumors tend to be one of the worst aspects of life in these situations, creating tension and mistrust among the inhabitants, so keep lines of interpersonal communications open and stomp on gossip as best you can. 

A psychological view of the stresses can be found here, but it's a hard read unless you're familiar with the basics of behavioral science. Most such articles are locked behind pay-walls, but I did find that one freely available.

The biggest aids to avoiding problems that I have seen are a common history, a set of goals to achieve (stay busy), and good communications, and new information or entertainment and giving people a sense of privacy go a long way towards keeping them sane. That said, being locked up with a bunch of quarreling idiots is a good way for some of them not to survive the experience.

Groupness

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

& is used with permission.

As I said previously, Dunbar's Number is the number of active relationships humans can sustain, and therefore anyone within that number is someone we care about. and is effectively part of our tribe. Anyone outside that number is at best someone we don't care about, and at worst is regarded as a competitor for scarce resources. It therefore follows that humans will find ways to relate to those people within their monkeysphere, and we do that in a manner known as groupness.

What Is Groupness?
The term was coined by social psychologist Henri Tajfel who stated that various animals, including humans, form in groups with common characteristics. Among humans, these characteristics are:

1. People within the group share common rituals and norms. This means that there is a shared sense of what is allowed within the group and what is not, and that there are some tasks which everyone does and some tasks which fall to certain people, like elders.
2.  A common understanding of history and purpose. The group has been together long enough to have shared stories or in-jokes that outsiders are not privy to or wouldn't understand, and everyone within the group shares a common ideal. 
3. The ability of members to sustain the group through challenges. Not only does this mean group effectiveness in overcoming obstacles, but it also means that the group pulls together under stress and members look out for one another as an example. 

Let's examine the groupness of preppers.

• We all have emergency supplies which we own and maintain, and we have disaster plans which we refine and practice. That's our norm. 
• When we see someone in our group making a mistake, like engaging in unsafe behavior or buying improper gear or giving bad advice, we correct them. If we see an incorrect depiction of preppers in the media, we ridicule it. That's one of our common rituals.
• Some of us are very vocal about preparedness and we all have strong opinions, but we generally leave the task of teaching to those of us who are eloquent, responsible and have some degree of respect within the group. 

• Our common purpose is, of course, to prepare ourselves and others for emergencies so that we can all survive.
• Our common history involves us making jokes about how the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 wasn't an inconvenience to us because we already had all we needed, laughing at the unprepared people who stood in line at Costco for hours, and how we suddenly weren't as crazy as the media depicted us. We use words like BOB, TEOTWAWKI, INCH, WROL, and other in-group jargon terms.
• Our common ideal is, of course, to weather a disaster with as little disruption to our lives as possible. 

• The entire purpose of a prepper's Tribe is to create a group which pulls together during stressful times where we all look out for one another. We even saw this to a lesser extent here, on this blog and in our Facebook group, where we supported one another during the rough spots and exchanged advice, hints and tricks that worked for us in the hopes that they would help other people. 

Is It Good or Bad?
It sounds like groupness is a great thing, doesn't it? Well, it is and it isn't. Groupnesss can accomplish a lot, but with it it comes the risk of becoming insular. It's all too easy for members to stop listening to anyone not within their group and an echo chamber emerges where challenging thought isn't permitted.
As Laurence Gonzales said in Mob Mentality: the Failures of Groupness,

When the in-group encounters individuals from outside the group, the default response is hostility. People protect their group from outsiders and from outside influences. For example, we will reject information, habits, and culture from other groups.

The power of groupness is not to be underestimated. If a group invests a lot of effort in a goal and succeeds, its boundaries become stronger, and it tends to become even more hostile to outside influences. This may not be overt hostility. It may simply be a subtle and unconscious tendency to reject anything from another group.

We preppers do this a lot as well. Some of us make it difficult for new members to join, or for new modes of thought to be accepted. (For example, see the division between primitive survival skills enthusiasts vs. those who want to use the best, most advanced gear possible.) In worst-case scenarios, an entire culture develops around not allowing dissenting thought or not challenging the elders, and this becomes groupthink.

As an example, consider NASA in the 1980s. They had put men on the moon multiple times over the past decade, and so they weren't open to any suggestion that how they were operating the Space Shuttle was dangerous. The thinking was "Don't tell us how to do our job. We know what we're doing." This culture became so pervasive that even though there were multiple failures within a launch, these were defined as 'acceptable' simply because the launch was successful. Groupthink from groupness blinded them to hazards until something happened that they couldn't ignore: the explosion of Challenger in 1986.

So in other words, when groupness is bolstered by a few lucky victories, it can blur the line between actual success in achieving a goal sensibly and a close call that fortunately didn't turn into disaster... this time.

How Does This Apply to Prepping?
Preppers need to understand how groupness works and must be able to recognize the signs of isolation and groupthink when they appear. This is important because preppers already form into circles, groups or tribes of like-minded people -- groupness in action -- and so when disaster strikes, we need to be wary that we don't fall into the trap of groupthink.

Additionally, we need to realize that post-disaster, other people will form their own groups as well and will likely regard us preppers with the same hostility and other-ness.

Finally, preppers need to realize that just because we got away with something once doesn't mean that it was a good idea. Similarly, just because something worked in the past doesn't mean it will continue to work in the future.

For more information on groupness in a survival situation, I encourage you all to read this three-page PDF Groupthink in Outdoor Adventure Settings. It's a fast, easy read full of useful information for all of us.

In Conclusion
Dunbar's Number means that human brains are inherently wired for tribalism. Those within our monkeysphere are seen as human and are valued; those outside out monkeysphere are at best seen as faceless things to interact with and at worst as "the other" which must be destroyed.

Because of this tribalism, we practice groupness. In so doing we surround ourselves with like-minded people with similar values, shared goals and a unifying history and language. This reinforces "us vs. them" and "we are right, they are wrong" thinking.

Groupness leads to groupthink, where outside ideas are seen as dangerous to the group and are rejected without consideration in favor of "we've always done it this way." Unfortunately, this can lead to stagnation or even disaster.

The Monkeysphere

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

& is used with permission.

The Monkeysphere. That's a heck of a word, isn't it? But despite how silly it sounds, it's actually a very important concept that helps explain why humans are callous to some people and care deeply about others. If you're a prepper you need to understand what it is and how it works, because not only does it inform us how society as a whole works, but also explains how our own prepper group dynamics operate.

What It Means
The term "monkeysphere" was coined in 2007 by David Wong of Cracked magazine, and as much as it pains me to give Cracked credit for anything, it's actually a very meaningful and catchy way to describe the concept known as Dunbar's Number. In the 1990s, anthropologist Robin Dunbar was studying how primates interacted with each other and found that average social group size corresponded to brain size. On a lark, Dunbar applied this number to humans (who are also primates) and found that the correlation remained true. Dunbar's Number, aka the monkeysphere, describes the number of social relationships a primate can indefinitely maintain.

What we call Dunbar's Number is actually a series of them, with a variation of plus or minus 50% due to some humans being more social than others. As explained in The Limits of Friendship, these groups are:

• 5: the Close Support Group. These are your best friends (and often family members) and you care deeply about them. 
• 15: the Circle. These are the friends that you can turn to for sympathy when you need it, and the ones you can confide in about most things.
• 150: Casual Friends. This is the baseline of Dunbar's Number and the most well-known of the series. Some people can only manage 100 casual friends, and the very social can handle up to 200, but either way this represents the number of people who you like being around and whom you would invite to a large party. 
• 500: Acquaintances. These are the people you sort of know, but not very well, like co-workers, neighbors down the street, and so forth. 
• 1,500: Tribe.  This is the absolute limit of the human brain, and it represents the people whose faces you can recognize on a regular basis. 

What's interesting about the monkeysphere is that the number shows up as the optimum size for many large units. For example, the average group size of modern Hunter-Gatherer societies is 148 people, and so we can postulate that our ancient ancestors used groups this size as well. What's more, militaries from as far back as the Roman Empire to as recently as today use units within Dunbar's number: the U.S. Army's operational unit diagram lists a company as being between 100 and 200 soldiers.

Why Do We Have One?
Our brains are just wired like this to prevent us from mental exhaustion. Here's an analogy to help explain.

My Daisy Girl

• I have a dog named Daisy. She's my adorable puppy and I love her lots, and I take her for walks and I play with her. 
• If I add another dog to the family, I don't love Daisy any less, but now I have to exert energy to maintain a relationship with this new dog, and I probably have to exert more energy with Daisy so she doesn't feel left out.
• Add another dog. 
• Add two. 
• Add a dozen. 
• Eventually, I will hit my limit where I say "No more dogs. I can't take care of any more, and the ones I have are driving me crazy with all their demands!" The dogs have finally exceeded my monkeysphere, and I simply can't care about any more of them because it is literally making me crazy. 

The same goes for humans. This is why we care deeply when a friend breaks an arm or gets a divorce, and why we only care on an abstract level, if at all, that people we don't know and will never meet are starving or dying of a disease or being slaughtered. And further, this explains why so many human actions look like tribalism: it's because they are. Outside of our monkeysphere, people stop feeling like people to us because we don't interact with them socially. Instead, they're either things we have to interact with to give what we want, like fast food servers or bank tellers or shop cashiers; or they're competitors for resources, like all of those people who take up space on the road and prevent you from getting where you want to go because they're in your way. Rush hour frustration is a perfect example of our brains' relational capabilities being overwhelmed.

In summary, the monkeysphere is a good explanation for humanity's "Us vs. Them" attitude, and the reasons for this lie within another social characteristic known as Groupness. I will explain groupness next week, and you'll see why it's such a pervasive influence in how cultures think and act.

Overcoming Hoarding

Not actually Erin.
Picture by KJ Photography
& is used with permission. 

I have mentioned before that my father is a hoarder. I think it's time that I admit I have hoarding issues as well, although thankfully they aren't as bad as my father's and I'm fighting them because they annoy me severely.

I feel the need to justify myself, so please allow me to explain:

• I have literally lost count of the number of times I've thrown something away only to need it later. While I acknowledge this is confirmation bias at work and that there are many more times when I haven't needed something I've thrown away, I still get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I realize had X in my possession and now I need it, as if I've betrayed myself. Thus I find myself reluctant to dispose of anything useful because "I might need it later." So at least I'm not hoarding newspapers and pizza boxes!
• I hate waste, by which I mean even if I've never used a particular something, I don't want to trash it if it's still serviceable. This is why I have so many hex wrenches: they're still perfectly fine tools and they don't belong in the garbage. If there were some way for me to extract value from them I would do so happily; for example, that I lived in the fictional Star Trek universe, then I would happily shove them all back into the replicator and turn them into credits, because then I wouldn't be wasting them. Alternately, if I could give them to someone who wanted them I would do that, because again that's not wasting a resource, that's transferring it to someone else. 
• I'm sentimental about some things. There's some stuff from my childhood which makes me smile inside and I can't bear to get rid of it, even though I know I ought. 

The good news is that I know it's a problem and I'm working to correct it. 

• I have realized that my mental happiness today is more important than the value of any one thing. For example, if I am irritated because I keep having to step over/around X, and X is not likely to serve me in the future, then I need to get rid of it because "not being irritated on a daily basis" has a value as well, and that value is likely far larger than whatever nebulous benefit I get from X. 
• If I am undecided about something, I hide it, by which I mean "I put it in a bag and remove it from my sight." If I need it, then I know where to go to get it. But after a period of time -- a week, a month, a year if need be -- I go to that bag to clean it out. It's so much easier to throw away something that I know I have neither used nor needed for a long period of time. 
• Sometimes it's the little steps which matter. Tackling a large pile can be daunting, but it's a lot easier to do it one "bite" at a time. If there is a collection of stuff which needs sorting, when I go past it I make a point of taking one item from the pile and then determining what to do with it. Curiously, it's easier from a mental standpoint for me to dispose of a single thing than an entire box of them. 

That's how I'm dealing with my hoarding impulses to (hopefully) ensure they don't become a large problem in the future. If you have similar problems, I'd love to hear how you have coped with them. 

People in the Aftermath

After a natural disaster hits, you can expect four types of people to show up almost immediately. The timing, numbers, and duration will vary with the size of the disaster and the local population, but they're almost inevitable.

First Responders and Government

Police and fire departments do a good job of getting to the site of a disaster and checking for casualties. They don't normally stick around for long, because most disasters will have them covering more area than they have the manpower to manage.

After Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana in 2005 , the government disarmed anyone who chose to remain in their homes during the clean-up. Most states have since passed laws forbidding such foolishness. FEMA stories are countless and rarely have a happy ending.

Gawkers

In our wonderful age of social media and live news coverage, everyone within 100 miles of a disaster will know within 100' of where the damage has occurred. I tend to lump local media outlets into this category as well, as they're not there to help or hinder but will instead clog the roads and generally get in the way in order to get the right picture for their FaceBook/Instagram/news story.

I've seen this after a tornado hit a rural area, when the ambulances couldn't get up the gravel road because of all of the cars full of gawkers wanting to see and be seen with the damage. News crews vary, and most will obey police orders if told to stay back, but the desire to be the first to report a story can make them a nuisance. Live, on-the-scene reporting also provides targeting information for the group below.

Looters

Scum that will steal anything they can get, they seem to pop up after every disaster. We've seen several reports of looters following the flooding this spring here in Iowa, which is a fairly low-crime state. After every hurricane, massive fire, or earthquake you'll find reports of looters going through damaged areas looking for things to steal. “Looters will be shot” signs are a legal gray area depending on your local politicians; in some areas the signs could be used as proof of premeditation if a looter were to be shot, changing it from self-defense to murder. Timing will vary, with the local idiots being the first to try for an easy score and the opportunistic ones traveling from miles away showing up hours and days later.

A subset of looters are the scam artists. We get them every time we have a major storm that does damage to roofs and siding, let alone a tornado. They'll come in from out of town, give an estimate for the work to repair something, get a deposit or down payment, and never be seen again.

Helpers

Friends, family, neighbors, insurance adjusters, and local groups in the more rural areas will show up and do what they can to help recover from a disaster. Food, shelter, clothing, equipment, and manpower are usually offered to victims of a disaster rapidly. Urban areas have shown that they can band together and help each other out if the disaster is large enough. The response after 9/11 is a good example, as firefighters and other first responders were given food, water, a place to rest, etc. for weeks after the attack. Aid came from all over the country.

Knowing what to expect is the first step in planning for how to deal with a disaster. Don't forget to take the people around you into consideration.

Burnout

Not actually Erin.

Picture by KJ Photography

& is used with permission.

It happens to the best of us: we run out of enthusiasm, of ideas, of energy for a thing which used to propel and motivate us. Sometimes all that's needed is a break from the thing, like a vacation, to put that pep back in our step. But sometimes, that drain lasts.

I'm speaking from personal experience. I haven't been writing many articles for Blue Collar Prepping because I'm burned out. Specifically, I can't think of anything new to say on the topic of prepping. Now this would all be well and good if I were confident that I'd written the definitive blog on prepping; I'd simply announce that BCP was done, mission accomplished, and shut everything down.

But I know that I haven't written everything that needs be said on prepping, or learned all there is to learn on the subject. I'm pretty clearly burned out on it.

Burnout is a very real problem because it can affect everyone. Worse, it can affect people during the worst possible times, such as after a disaster or during a long-term survival situation. A lot of burnout can be attributed to having to do too much for too long by yourself, without rest, which unfortunately describes the realities of long-term survival.

Here are the signs of Burnout, cribbed shamelessly from a 2013 Psychology Today article:

• Chronic fatigue. In the early stages, you may feel a lack of energy and feel tired most days. In the latter stages, you feel physically and emotionally exhausted, drained, and depleted, and you may feel a sense of dread about what lies ahead on any given day.
• Insomnia. In the early stages, you may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep one or two nights a week. In the latter stages, insomnia may turn into a persistent, nightly ordeal; as exhausted as you are, you can't sleep.
• Forgetfulness/impaired concentration and attention. Lack of focus and mild forgetfulness are early signs. Later, the problems may get to the point where you can't get your work done and everything begins to pile up.
• Physical symptoms. Physical symptoms may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal pain, dizziness, fainting, and/or headaches (all of which should be medically assessed).
• Increased illness. Because your body is depleted, your immune system becomes weakened, making you more vulnerable to infections, colds, flu, and other immune-related medical problems.
• Loss of appetite. In the early stages, you may not feel hungry and may skip a few meals. In the latter stages, you may lose your appetite altogether and begin to lose a significant amount of weight.
• Anxiety. Early on, you may experience mild symptoms of tension, worry, and edginess. As you move closer to burnout, the anxiety may become so serious that it interferes with your ability to work productively and may cause problems in your personal life.
• Depression. In the early stages, you may feel mildly sad and occasionally hopeless, and you may experience feelings of guilt and worthlessness as a result. At its worst, you may feel trapped and severely depressed and think the world would be better off without you. (If your depression is to this point, you should seek professional help immediately.)
• Anger. At first, this may present as interpersonal tension and irritability. In the latter stages, this may turn into angry outbursts and serious arguments at home and in the workplace. (If anger gets to the point where it turns to thoughts or acts of violence toward family or coworkers, seek immediate professional assistance.)
• Loss of enjoyment. At first, loss of enjoyment may seem very mild, such as not wanting to go to work or being eager to leave. Without intervention, loss of enjoyment may extend to all areas of your life, including the time you spend with family and friends. At work, you may try to avoid projects and figure out ways to escape work altogether.
• Pessimism. At first, this may present itself as negative self-talk and/or moving from a glass-half-full to a glass-half-empty attitude. At its worst, this may move beyond how you feel about yourself and extend to trust issues with coworkers and family members and a feeling that you can't count on anyone.
• Isolation. In the early stages, this may seem like mild resistance to socializing (i.e., not wanting to go out to lunch; closing your door occasionally to keep others out). In the latter stages, you may become angry when someone speaks to you, or you may come in early or leave late to avoid interactions.
• Detachment. Detachment is a general sense of feeling disconnected from others or from your environment. It can take the form of the behaviors described above and result in removing yourself emotionally and physically from your job and other responsibilities. You may call in sick often, stop returning calls and emails, or regularly come in late.
• Feelings of apathy and hopelessness. This is similar to what is described in the depression and pessimism sections of this article. It presents as a general sense that nothing is going right or nothing matters. As the symptoms worsen, these feelings may become immobilizing, making it seem like "what's the point?"
• Increased irritability. Irritability often stems from feeling ineffective, unimportant, useless, and an increasing sense that you're not able to do things as efficiently or effectively as you once did. In the early stages, this can interfere in personal and professional relationships. At its worst, it can destroy relationships and careers.
• Lack of productivity and poor performance. Despite long hours, chronic stress prevents you from being as productive as you once were, which often results in incomplete projects and an ever-growing to-do list. At times, it seems that as hard as you try, you can't climb out from under the pile.

How do you cure burnout? I wish I had the answer for you. I know that it's a form of stress, and so anything which reduces the amount of stress in your life ought to halt (and hopefully reverse) burnout. Having someone to confide in can help with this by letting you vent your feeling in a safe manner, and having someone you trust take some of the work from you can reduce your amount of work and responsibility, which is vitally important during and after an emergency. This is why having a "tribe" is so important. 

Unfortunately, I don't really have anyone like that in my life right now. This means that I sometimes have to take breaks from posting here. I hope you won't hold that against me. 

Panic

The word “panic” comes from the name of the Greek god Pan, the god of the woods and fields, and the entity responsible for making mysterious noises that would spook herds of animals and scare people in lonely places. The dictionary definition of “panic” is a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons or animals.

Let's break that down and look at the individual parts and how to counteract them where possible.

Sudden

People don't plan to panic; it's a flight response to something that their minds either can't comprehend or is perceived as a threat. I've seen people panic when they can't find their child in a store, misplace or lose something of great value, or just plain get scared out of their wits. Panic hits quickly, and there is very little warning.

Situational awareness will prevent a lot of the causes of panic: if you know what's going on around you, it's less likely that something will appear suddenly. Organize your things and control your offspring.

Overwhelming

Panic takes over a person's thought processes, hindering or preventing logical thought. The instinct to flee danger is hardwired into us, and isn't something that's easy to turn off once triggered.

Unfortunately, the only two ways I know to break a panic spell are to wait until it passes or have an external source of control impose order into the situation. Talking a friend down from a panic attack is never fun, but it's something we should be prepared to do. You can be the source of control that they need. Laughing about it later is a choice you'll have to make based on your level of friendship.

With or Without Cause

Panic with cause is natural; panic without cause is an anxiety disorder. The natural forms of panic are easy to identify after the fact, and may even be predictable in some cases. I'm not a psychologist or doctor, so I won't try to diagnose a mental disorder.

Anxiety disorders are treated with anti-anxiety medications. Most of them have side effects that should be carefully considered and discussed with the doctor who prescribes them. They are also one of the classes of medications that you don't want to stop taking suddenly.

The “with cause” forms of panic are best countered by avoiding, or at least being aware of, what may trigger them. Situational awareness is a good defense, as is a healthy self-knowledge.

Irrational Behavior

This is where panic can become dangerous. The word “hysterical” is out of fashion, since it originally referred to women and the emotional roller-coaster they endure during menstruation, so I'll stick with “irrational”. Irrational means without a rational basis; in other words, mindless. Irrational behavior can mean running towards a greater danger or freezing in the path of oncoming danger.

Strength of will is the only way I know of to fight irrational behavior. You have to be in control of yourself and know how to think things through under stress. Recognizing the first tinge of panic and telling yourself, “No, I will not let this take control of me” is difficult, but necessary.

Spreads Quickly

Panic is highly contagious. The more homogeneous the group, the faster panic can spread because of shared cultural and personal biases. Financial panics are a good example: a large group of people who all deal with the same products and processes, and who communicate in many ways, is very susceptible to the spread of panic. If one person panics, another one will see their actions and likely panic as well, causing a chain reaction of irrational behavior. Natural and man-made disasters that affect large groups are perfect triggers for mass panic, especially when routes of escape are limited or blocked: fire in a crowded building, rumors in a refugee camp, and unlocking the doors of a store on Black Friday are all examples of things that can trigger a crowd into a panic.

The easiest way to avoid the spread of panic is to avoid crowds. If you can't avoid a crowd, always know where the exits are and position yourself near one. If you see a panic starting, get away as quickly as you can. By definition, irrational people will hurt you without thinking about it, so get clear by any means available.

Absent an underlying anxiety disorder, most people only panic when they are abruptly presented with something that is foreign to their lives, or if they get caught up in a “herd” mentality and someone else panics.

To prevent panic:

1. Know yourself and your surroundings.
2. Think about what could go wrong and plan accordingly.
3. Have a backup plan. 

These are all part and parcel of being a prepper, and will keep you a bit safer during a panic.

GunBlog VarietyCast Radio #167 - Dog Bites and Murder Insurance

Weer'd is still pulling Stunt Cohost duty (no word on what kind of dress he's wearing this week).

• MURDER INSURANCE!!! That’s what some anti-gun people are calling paid self-defense plans. Our own Beth Alcazar, who works for a company which offers such plans, talks about her encounter with the media on this issue.
• Police chase a teen driver after a drive-by shooting,and his mom hits every trope in the interview. Sean tells us more.
• Barron, Miguel, and Tiffany are on assignment.
• Erin is back... sort of. She's not up to hosting just yet, but she did record a lengthy segment about her incident and her recovery so far.
• Michael Bloomberg is pushing hard against the SHARE act and Concealed Carry Reciprocity using “Celebrities” and virtually no production values! You know that Weer'd couldn't pass that up.
• And out Plug of the Week is The Grassfed Gourmet Cookbook.

Thank you for downloading, listening, and subscribing. You are subscribed, right? We are available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, and Google Play Music!

Listen to the podcast here.
Read the show notes here.

Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #155 - RINO Hunting

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know." - Groucho Marx

• Beth and her husband went to Shootrite Academy in Alabama. They discuss what it’s like to train as a married couple, and Beth learned an important lesson about defensive pistol use in 101 degree heat.
• Sean has a doozy of a Felons Behaving Badly segment featuring five, count 'em, FIVE suspects involved in a kidnapping. You're going to need a score card to figure out who is related to whom!
• Barron is on assignment and will return soon.
• We're all supposed to grow up, not just grow older, but some people miss the maturity bus. Miguel tells us what to do when you run into an alleged adult who throws a childish temper tantrum in public.
• Sean went RINO hunting with the pro-gun group Grass Roots North Carolina. There were people dressed in Rhino pajamas, a rhino mask, and more Sergeants-at-Arms than you can shake a pro-gun banner at.

• Tiffany is on assignment and will return soon.
• Erin finishes up her series on Surviving Survival with a double-length segment on successful coping strategies.
• The One and Only Anti-Gun Podcast brings on a researcher to talk about research and the anti-gun agenda. Weer’d listens so that you don't have to!
• And our Plug of the Week is for the PHLster Flatpack Tourniquet Holder. 

Thank you for downloading, listening, and subscribing. You are subscribed, right? We are available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, and Google Play Music!

Listen to the podcast here.

Read the show notes here.

Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Blue Collar Prepping Transcript -

Surviving Survival

For the past two months, I’ve been talking about what trauma is and why our brains respond it the way that they do, and giving suggestions on how to manage anger, fear, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. This week I conclude this series by giving general strategies for getting past the traumatic event and getting on with your life. In other words, how to survive the rest of your life once you’ve survived the emergency, tragedy, disaster or trauma. 

There are six strategies that lead to successful outcomes. Of these, the most effective strategy -- contrary to all expectations -- is Suppression. In other words, Put it out of your mind. Just don’t think about it. Think about other things instead. 

In the paper titled Study Of Adult Development, psychiatrist George Vaillant found that simply suppressing a traumatic experience and getting on with life is, quote, "the defensive style most closely associated with successful adaptation". Suppression is straightforward, practical, and best of all, it works. "Of all the coping mechanisms," Vaillant writes, "suppression alters the world the least and best accepts the terms life offers." 

However, not everyone can simply stop thinking about things that trouble them. This is a problem which I have; when something bothers me, I end up chewing on it over and over, like a cow with its cud. For those of you who end up ruminating on your problems like I do, here are other successful strategies:

Sublimation - Do something to channel anger, energy and anxiety into something productive. This is engaging the seeking pathway, and I went into this in detail in episode 148. Sublimation is another form of suppression, because seeking pathway overrides the rage pathway of rumination. 

Altruism - Do something kind for someone else. This helps you twice: first by occupying your mind with the task, and the second with the chemical reward that comes with positive emotions when your gift makes its recipient happy. 

Anticipation - See the future and prepare for it. Like studying for a test so hard that you score a 100% on it, if you over-prepare then the actual event is a nonissue. This is an excellent strategy for things which have a definite end goal, such as a diagnosis of cancer. If you’re a prepper, you are constantly using this technique. 

And finally Humor - Being able to laugh at yourself is healing. It has been said that you “Can’t be laughing and worrying at the same time,” and I’ve found this to be true, which is why I always try to make a joke to lighten the mood when things seem horrible. 

The best coping mechanism of all, if you can manage it, is to combine suppression with laughter. Laugh about the good things in life and don’t think about the terrible things -- or laugh AT the terrible things, to rob them of their power. A thing you mocking is not a thing to be feared. 

There are 12 steps for successful survival, whether you are in the middle of a disaster or you are dealing with the aftermath. 

1. Perceive & Believe - Recognize the reality of the situation. Don’t deny it is happening; accept it and deal with it. 
2. Remain Calm - acknowledge whatever fear, rage, or sadness you have, but don’t dwell on them. Instead, use that energy to be productive by engaging the seeking pathway. 
3. Think, Analyze, Plan - Know what you have and what you want. Once you have a realistic assessment of your resources and predicament, set achievable goals. Tell yourself “OK, this bad thing has happened. Now what?” Look to future instead of ruminating on the past or what could have been. 
4. Act on that plan - This is sublimation, and it effectively directs negative emotions outward into productive effect. Do something other than dwelling on pain and trauma. 
5. Celebrate success once action is taken - This creates a dopamine reward within your brain, which makes you feel better and causes you to want to keep progressing forward. This is a “virtuous circle”. 
6. Count your blessings - This results in gratitude, which calms negative emotions. 
7. Play - Have fun, which is part of living a healthy happy life. Without joy, you aren’t living, you’re merely existing. 
8. See the Beauty - Focus on positive, ignore the negative. This binds you to the world so you want to keep living. 
9. Believe you can influence events - Believing that you will succeed is the attitude of the survivor, not the victim. Do not wait for rescue; rescue yourself. 
10. Surrender - Don’t let your fears hold you back; let go of them and move forward.
11. Do whatever is necessary to make that move happen - By this point, you should know, deep within yourself, that you have the will and skill to accomplish what is needed for healing or rescue. Do not let obstacles keep you from your goal. 
12. Never give up - You’re still alive. That means you can always improve your situation. 

Finally, there is happiness, which is what everyone wants in life. I’m going to conclude this series with three key thoughts on happiness and the pursuit thereof:

“It’s possible to lead a healthy happy life even in the aftermath of trauma. Perhaps more importantly, happiness is not a matter of avoiding trouble; it’s a matter of how you deal with it.”

“Happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster. Happiness as a byproduct of living your life is a great thing.”

To make your live more complete, and therefore help you achieve happiness:

1. Do something you love.
2. Do something for someone who needs you.
3. Be with people who care about you.

I can’t stress that last one enough: Be with people who care about you.

Take care of yourself, folks.

• Surviving Survival: The Art and Science of Resilience – http://amzn.to/2sE9o2G
• Study of Adult Development - http://www.hms.harvard.edu/psych/redbook/redbook-family-adult-01.htm